Response #266 (choco) Saturday, December 14, 2002

 I actually made FRUITCAKE! We are sponsoring a family for Christmas -
 a woman with four kids under 5 (3 under 3) and all she asked for for
 herself was fruitcake. Now I'm not a fruitcake fan. Those day glo green
 candied "fruits" give me the willies. I find no "fruit" I can
 recognize in the dense blocks sold at the Safeway. I shopped around and
 did find one high quality sounding cake at a Gourmet place, but it was
 $35.00 for 12 ounces. I'm Dutch. I can't do that.

 I was sitting on my - ahem - throne? -- Wednesday, scanning the Sunday
 supplement and saw the weekly foodie article (By Greg Atkinson, who
 writes a fine column, http://www.seattletimes.com) was on FRUITCAKE. 
 And the headline was:

 Pass It On: This is fruitcake you'll eat -- really 

 Ah, perhaps this would solve my dilemna. I'd MAKE the damn thing. So
 Thursday I go to TJs and buy all sorts of fruit and nuts. I could not
 find the candied orange peel, so I substituted dried apricots (yeah, no
 logic). They were out of currents, but the fig tub was larger than the
 amount called for so I figured I'd swap ounce for ounce as I like figs
 better than any form of raisins. And the dried cherries looked lovely,
 plump and deep red -- NOT DAYGLO!

 I chopped the fruit, tossed in the nuts and thankfully found we DID
 have dark rum in the cabinet to soak them overnight. I wondered if the
 mom took alcohol? (Sometimes in these situations there are cultural
 circumstances where folks don't take alcohol or substance use issues
 --- but I thought -- she asked for Fruitcake and most fruitcake is
 moistened with spirits, right? Crossing fingers.)

 Friday morning I wake up at 5am and can't go back to sleep so I figure
 its a good time to make fruitcake. I start mixing the cement, um I
 mean batter, heating the oven, digging out the roll of parchment paper
 (it was here somewhere, right??) and generally making too much racket
 for that time of day. One son whose room abuts the kitchen emerges into
 the glare, shuffles off to the bathroom and then shuts out the light
 and sound by closing the door and diving back into the down nest he
 sleeps in. I try to bang less and decide to eschew the mixer and cream
 the butter by hand.

 When the recipie said POUR the batter over the fruit I had a moment's
 pause. This stuff doesn't pour. I scraped it in. Mixed and warmed up my
 arm muscles. Popped it in the oven for 50 minutes and did a good round
 of yoga as the house started to smell of butter and flour. Mmmm...

 When it came out it was to cool in the pan, so it was too soon to make
 the marzipan rolled icing that goes both on the top and the bottom of
 the cake. (It is served in squares). So I shifted my mental gears to
 work and headed upstairs for three hours of conference calls. But I
 knew I had to get the icing on and the thing cut an wrapped by noon as
 the gift pile was to be picked up by a friend. Tick tick tick.

 In between one of the calls I mixed the icing/paste/dough (almond
 paste, powdered sugar, corn syrup.) It did not form dough at first
 until I added a bit more syrup and a touch of water. I wrapped it in
 plastic and headed up for the next call.

 The last call was going long, so I put on my headset and took the
 portable down to the kitchen and started rolling out the dough
 (quietly, quietly) during the call, adding a sticky coating to the
 phone cord. But I was cursing silently as this dough was now sticking
 to the board and when I tried to pull it up (11 x 15) and to lay it in
 the cake it was a disaster. Wait till after the call.

 Hang up. Re roll this time with a good dusting of powdered sugar on
 the board (should said this in the recipie!) and got the first sheet
 on. Dust cookie sheet to turn out cake to frost second side. It worked!


 Finally, the dang thing is together and the next step is to trim the
 edges. Ah, finally time to taste this thing. Is it edible?

 Oh yes. The crackle of fig seeds. The pop of a macadamia. Even the
 raisins taste good. I'd even eat this thing! So I wrap up three big
 squares for the mom, put on ribbons and hand them gently in a bag to my
 friend to load with the toys for the kids. She is impressed I made
 fruitcake. I'm still munching. The fruitcake ended for a moment UNDER
 the scooter, but I think we rescued it before it was totally crushed.

 I hope the mom likes it.

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