The WELL: inkwell.vue.357: Paula Span, When The Time Comes

#103: Lisa Harris (lrph) Thu 30 Jul 09 16:29

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:29:00 PDT

thanks for the link. [Read entire topic]

#102: Lisa Hirsch (sunbear) Wed 29 Jul 09 14:02

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:02:00 PDT

Paula gave a talk about her book at Google a few weeks ago, and the video is now up on the Authors@Google YouTube channel:

<http://www.youtube.com/user/AtGoogleTalks#play/uploads/0/wD9PKMWdbJo> [Read entire topic]

#101: Lisa Harris (lrph) Wed 22 Jul 09 18:21

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:21:00 PDT

It has truly been my pleasure and my education, which I need right about now. Elizabeth's analysis of your writing, Paula, is right on target. This is not an easy subject, but through your eyes and words I found myself actually enjoying it. I feel more empowered to do the best I can do for those I love, and have an arsenal of good resources to get me there.

Paula, you have been an amazing guest, and we expect you back when you have a new book! [Read entire topic]

#100: Paula Span (pspan) Wed 22 Jul 09 17:02

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:02:00 PDT

I'm in your debt too, Lisa. [Read entire topic]

#99: Gail Williams (gail) Wed 22 Jul 09 16:48

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:48:00 PDT

Lisa, I dont want to forget to thank you for taking on the discussion-leading and production duties behind the scenes for this one, so we could all appreciate this conversation. [Read entire topic]

#98: smuggling raisins into the Last Supper (carolw) Wed 22 Jul 09 15:00

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:00:00 PDT

I will add my thanks, Paula, and I look forward to finishing the book. [Read entire topic]

#97: Paula Span (pspan) Wed 22 Jul 09 14:51

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:51:00 PDT

Thanks, Elisabeth, I hope you're right.

And thanks everyone, for joining the conversation. [Read entire topic]

#96: . (wickett) Wed 22 Jul 09 14:32

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:32:00 PDT

Absolutely: keep talking, communicate, learn, explore, keep talking!

I, alas, haven't had internet access lately and am behind here to my great regret as I am v. interested in this topic and have loved this discussion. I also want to add my two cents.

My mother moved into an independent living apartment in a continuing care community and loved it. When she moved--briefly--into assisted living with a roommate who kept talking about coveting her things or simply took them, Mama, of course, was quite displeased. The care was inadequate, too, and the room cramped. When she had an episode of congestive heart failure, she moved into nursing care, and once again, was v. happy. She was the healthiest person there for the first three or four years, went out with friends, enjoyed visitors daily, and played lots of winning Scrabble. So, my impression of assisted living, as a separate entity, is rather misbegotten and, in my limited experience of one, think it fits fewer people than might be imagined.

Also, I utterly agree about paperwork. Mama and I had everything in order long before it was necessary. I'd purchased grave plots when I was in college because my father disowned for going to Cal and told me I'd have to pay to bury him. Okay, I thought, better prepare now than later.

Now, we have our powers of attorney, wills, trusts, lists of items to go to various people, and all passwords in a handwritten file in the safe deposit box. The kids already have copies of some legal documents and will receive more as I continue to organize. Death, disability, and incapacity are quite bad enough without making people we love look for the housekeys and making it easy for them to overlook insurance policies.

In addition, as a person disabled by multiple sclerosis, I have heard many people say they cannot conceive of disability before it happens, but when it does, it may be possible to make a jolly good life. Or not. Both possibilities should be given attentive consideration.

Paula, I want to say that in addition to your in-depth knowlegde of the subject and your superb journalistic skills, you have a novelist's gift for luring the reader onward. I often found, at the end of a chapter, when I was mulling over the questions you posed and the resources provided, I was eager to know what happens next? What, what? I wanted to rush through the book and find out what happened. I didn't, of course. I wouldn't have learned as much or thought as much, nor would I have honored your purpose in writing. But I wanted to plunge on. Your people are vibrant and I cared about them.

Thank you so much for this gem of a book. I, personally, wish it had appeared twenty years ago when I was facing caring for both my elderly parents, but it is timely now for millions. [Read entire topic]

#95: Gail Williams (gail) Wed 22 Jul 09 13:29

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:29:00 PDT

Thank you, Paula, Jennifer and everybody. This discussion sped along, but the time has come.

We're starting a new book today, but of course you can linger here as long as you wish. Possibly related areas on The WELL include the ongoing http://www.well.com/conf/health/ , http://www.well.com/conf/hospice/ and http://www.well.com/conf/elder.pri/ conferences, just for reference. And Paula has a very good author's site here: http://www.paulaspan.com/ with useful information, upcoming gigs and of course how to buy "When the Time Comes" for yourself, or perhaps for a sibling. [Read entire topic]

#94: smuggling raisins into the Last Supper (carolw) Tue 21 Jul 09 15:34

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:34:00 PDT

Well said. [Read entire topic]