Eclectic Views

    
Excellent point!
  

    
oh how I've wished someone would ask the Krakpot Shrink another
question ....  I've missed our little meetings so.  I didn't feel up to
opening another of my own neurotic veins for the mining.

but today I am reeling from multiple reality dislocation that centered
on a group retirement luncheon  (I was one of 20 being feted:  over
20% of the staff of my division retired).  But one of the most bizarre
facts that surfaced came in the form of a surreal little story one of
my fellow retirees told.  

Said fellow is a 60-something bachelor.  He is famous in the annals of
our village culture for never being promoted, despite obvious
brain-power, but in clear reflection of certain personality traits that
everyone but him are completely aware of:  an endlessly anal fussiness
about details coupled with a nearly-paralyzing inability to make a
decision, as well as a tendency to gila-monster level doggedness when
he's got some point to make.  In our small world of professional
property appraisers (civil service), he also is known for never having
been able to come to a decision to actually buy a piece of property
back in the days when an ordinary person could buy property  (I know
that sounds unreal to many, but there were in fact such days, back in
the 70's).  There are other traits I could mention, but I at least
wanted to lay out these major themes.

The story he told at our retirement luncheon was the following, which
I thought had just been a surreal example of his sense of humor, always
striving to make some strained little joke.  He spoke of how, when we
used to have two bathroom stalls in the Men's room that had a 12" gap
under the partition, he had once noticed that someone had entered the
stall to his right and dropped trou, with the belt buckle hitting the
tiled floor with a loud slap.  Intrigued, and being done with his own
business, he suddenly reached under the partition, grabbed the buckle
and quickly snatched the belt.  He then immediately exited the stall
and bore his trophy off.  

Inspired with this achievement, he then launched a career of snatching
belts in the bathroom stalls, until the day that he came up against an
earlier victim.  This guy (who happened to be a Hell's Angel, if you
can believe that, except he was also one of our favorite characters),
having been surprised once, was not so easy a mark the second time. 
Although our central character managed the "snatch", the other guy was
closer to completing his business than he, so when he made a break for
the exit, the other guy was hot on his heels.  Great scene:  both guys
power-walking frantically while clutching at their
not-completely-fastened pants....

Anyway, this fellow continued his bizarrely hilarious recitation, and
finally was followed in the unraveling group retirement luncheon by
other events way more surreal.  It's just that later, after the ball
was over, my wife and I were in the bar area relaxing with several
other retirees and friends, when my own immediate boss commented that
he had been one of the people whose belts were stolen.  SHOCK!  All of
a sudden this bizarre fantasy recitation was no longer a joke:  it had
all been true.  My boss mentioned several other people whose belts had
also been stolen and how it had been this strange mystery that had
never been solved until now.

So my question is:  what in the hell does this mean??!!  I mean, I'm
not usually any kind of fan of Freud, but this seems to be
custom-tailored for a Freudian interpretation.

Your comments, please, oh august Krakpot!
  

    
These people all sound like characters from Six Feet Under to me.

What ~I~ want to know is: how in hell could you be in a restroom stall, have
someone reach under and steal your belt (with all the accompanying sounds
that would make) and NOT NOTICE IT?!!?

poet, you work with/for people who are either profoundly unobservant OR do
things in those bathrooms that's way more distracting than what I'm normally
up to when I'm in there.

The belt-snatcher sounds.....well......odd.  Some people are.  Some people
also have variations of psychiatric or psychological conditions that render
them really out of sync with others in a social milieu.  Ditto certain brain
disorders.

As for what in hell this means, I'd say it means you need to keep your wits
about you in all places, and always buy pants that fit snugly.
  

    
I was as skeptical as you, for all the pragmatic and concrete
considerations you mentioned, Cindy.  And so I thought this had just
been another of J____'s quirky little fugues.  Until later, in the bar,
when like I said, my own boss admitted he'd been victimized.  

Yes, the sheer mechanics necessitate not just reaching down by the
perpetrator, but in all probability, being at the ready, on one knee
and poised to snatch.  Too, while not totally neurotic about germs and
dirt myself, still, I was surprised to learn that guys will just drop
the whole clothing apparatus, pants, belt, buckle and all, to the
ground of a public facility.

As a cautionary tale, one of my all-time favorite bathroom scrawls, in
a series of stalls with just such a 12" gap under the partitions. 
[Hope this is not way too un-PC!], but someone had drawn an arrow to
the bottom of the partition, then written:

   Beware gay limbo dancers.
  

    
I was as skeptical as you, for all the pragmatic and concrete
considerations you mentioned, Cindy.  And so I thought this had just
been another of J____'s quirky little fugues.  Until later, in the bar,
when like I said, my own boss admitted he'd been victimized.  

Yes, the sheer mechanics necessitate not just reaching down by the
perpetrator, but in all probability, being at the ready, on one knee
and poised to snatch.  Too, while not totally neurotic about germs and
dirt myself, still, I was surprised to learn that guys will just drop
the whole clothing apparatus, pants, belt, buckle and all, to the
ground of a public facility.

As a cautionary tale, one of my all-time favorite bathroom scrawls, in
a series of stalls with just such a 12" gap under the partitions. 
[Hope this is not way too un-PC!], but someone had drawn an arrow to
the bottom of the partition, then written:

   Beware gay limbo dancers.
  

    
PS....

we just had dinner to tonight with one of our oldest friends, who
shares the experience of the office history with us.  She is the type
of person to know the history of everyone and everything, as she grew
up in this area, and is widely connected.

so, not only is the story true (and, as it turned out, another friend
who came over for dinner had also been one of the victims of the Belt
Stealer), but this same character stalked her for a year maybe 25 years
ago, calling her up every night and just breathing heavy into the
phone.

it's one thing to read about pathologies, but quite a different
experience to rub up against one.
  

    
Cindy!  Are you there in our hour of need?  What are you doing to calm
yourself and be hopeful about our future as Americans?
  

    
I am here, yes.

Calming myself has become my favorite pastime.  As always, I recommend 
yoga and world traveling.  And limiting your contact with insane people.

What we need to do.  Right at the moment: nothing.  We need to pause and
breathe and allow our heartrates to settle.  We need to crawl around on the
floor and recover all our lost internal organs.  Some of us need to take 
time out to get our glasses repaired -- the ones we snapped in two in a 
fit of rage and frustration.

Then we need to think carefully and speak with the greatest of care and
deliberation about what all this "means".  We must stay engaged -- but on
our own terms.

Shall we discuss this further?  There have been numerous reports out there
about people having considerable personal difficulties on the heels of the
election.  Anybody care to check in?
  

    
(Nice to see you, Dok.)
  

    
What Eleanor said.
  

    
Dear Doc,

Since the election, I only seem to be able to work every other day. 
Wednesday bad, Thursday good, Friday bad, Saturday good, Sunday bad,
today good.  

On the off days I sit around reading stuff online for hours, until I
feel sick.  Or I talk incessantly to my long-suffering friends about
how much the world sucks.  Then I take a nap.  

Do you think I'll snap out of this new pattern on my own, or is there
something I should do to make myself snap out of it?
  

    
[uncharacteristically, listening more than talking...]
  

    

-limiting your contact with insane people
---->  Ok, that's going to be tricky.

-to crawl around on the
 floor and recover all our lost internal organs
---->  It's possible that I didn't respond to the election the way others
may have.   I'm positive that at no time have my organs left my body.  But
I feel this is excellent advice for those who may have various body parts
scattered about.   You wouldn't want the cat chewing on your duodenum, after
all.

-get our glasses repaired -- the ones we snapped in two in a
 fit of rage and frustration
---->  Shoulda snapped someone ELSE'S glasses.   Keep a registered
Republican nearby for just this kind of eventuality, is what I'd do.  But
I'm not the Good Doktor, and nobody asked me.  And I'm not going to create
my own topic just for one piece of advice, so just consider that a freebie.

-We must stay engaged
---> I'm not sure I agree with this.  I was engaged for two years, but
eventually got married.  If I go back to being engaged it's going to cause
no end of difficulty.   I don't think engagements need to last forever.  But
again, I'm not the Dok here.  She may have her reasons.   I'm sure she'll
tell you what they are, after she locates her left kidney and gets her
glasses repaired.  Hopefully in that order.

-Anybody care to check in?
--->  Sure.  I made a reservation online.  Name is Greene.  King-sized bed,
no smoking room, on the VIP floor.  I spoke to someone named "Eddie", if I
remember correctly.  I don't remember the last name, but it did rhyme with
Eddie.  I'm sure of that.
  

    
I just realized, <dsg>, that having a registered Republican nearby is
quite possibly the reason you are finding the first piece of advice,
"limiting your contact with insane people," tricky.  

On the other hand, there was no practical reason given for that piece
of advice, whereas your freebie has the clear practical outcome of
saving money on glasses.  (Assuming you don't get sued when you break
someone else's glasses.  But Republicans are against frivolous
lawsuits, so you are probably safe.)
  

    

When I have a republican nearby, I usually keep them bound and gagged.
SO much easier that way.
  

    
Hello to you all!

rosmar and dsg, you both sound like you're at a definite point in a
continuum of recovery.  rosmar is in a "shock" phase and dsg is in a "fuck
it all to bloody hell" phase.  I'd like to be credited with the discovery of
the FIATBH phase, especially now the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is dead and
therefore won't be doing any more pioneering work on, uh, death.  This is
about grief, really, and acclimation to Things As They Are.  Perhaps I will
deliver a lecture at a later time on the FIATBH phase of grieving, but for
now I would offer you dsg as a classic example.

rosmar, here's what you have to do and I'll talk about this in the immediate
term and in the long run, OK?

Right now, what you have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the
other.  Your body and your psyche are very busy absorbing something that has
great weight for you.  You will absorb, then you will integrate and then you
will recalibrate your functioning based on this updated state of affairs.
It is nature's way that we should all recover and heal from whatever it is
that blows us sideways -- be it a loss, a tragedy or an election.

So for now, your job is to be gentle with yourself in the form of getting
plenty of rest, being super mindful about getting good nutrition and
moderate exercise.  Be around people when you can, but don't be reluctant to
just go home and tuck in with a good book or an old movie.  Eventually,
you'll find your daily functioning resumes its more familiar form.

OK now for the long haul.  I have a pill for you and it might seem bitter,
but believe me, it's what you need.  What we ALL need, in my opinion.
Americans need to get out of their comfy little habit of demonizing anyone
who is "other" to them.  Anyone who is different, has a different agenda,
different ideals, a different direction in mind for the country and/or
world, a different faith, a different hairdo, a different whatever.

Not that demonizing some of these folks is unwarranted.  It's more that it's
not helpful in the long run.  We have to learn to communicate across great
divides of ideology, values and life experiences and we have to create a way
in which we can ALL inhabit this country without fear and oppression.  So in
the long run, what I want you to develop is:
*       A clearly thought-through and articulated list of the values you
most deeply cherish;
*       A set of ideas about how you would like those expressed politically;
*       A genuine curiousity about people who hold opposing views and
values;
*       A willingness to play a role in making America work for all of us.

And don't even START with the "yeah buts" and the "but they won't make room
for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's" right now.  What our side needs is leaders
and, just like Isreal and Palestine are going to have to learn to
cooperatively inhabit the same geography, so are we Americans.  To keep
playing this thing out where there's 50 million "winners" and 50 million
"losers" is going to hobble us as a society and as a nation.

In the long run, I want you to find whatever leadership lives inside you and
cultivate it for the good of us all.  Today, though, I want you to breathe,
rest, eat well and take a good walk.
  

    

<<<Not that demonizing some of these folks is unwarranted

I wouldn't demonize them.  I bury them in the back yard under the picnic
table and over near the corner of the fence.  Excellent fertilizer.
  

    
Thank you clmyers!

That classic "Don't Mourn, Organize" might be "Mourn first, then organize."
On the other hand, I've been to lefty wakes where the mourning and the
organizing were mixed together and everybody was perfectly happy with the
combo.   My neighbor told me that Saturday she went for walk, got back,
wrote a check to the Sierra Club and wept.  I respected that story. 
  

    
I respect it too and thank you for sharing it here.

But we also, perhaps paradoxically, have to make room for dsg and all the
others who are in FIATBH.  So, for today, the slogan would be something
like, "Don't Mourn, Fertilize.  And Organize."
  

    
re <1041>
I was fortunate enough to spend last weekend at a silent retreat. 
This is one of the best ways to dip one's oar where things are deepest
and truest.
In the course of the days, the retreat director, Fr. Patrick Sugrue,
OCD, said that the London Times once asked seven great contemporary
writers to respond with an essay to the question:

   "What is wrong with the world?"

GK Chesterton was the respondent with undeniably the shortest essay. 
It read:

   "I am."
  

    

<<<have to make room for dsg

I've gained some weight, so could you move over just a bit more?  Thanks.
  

    
That seems like excellent advice, Cindy, and I appreciate it.  I guess
I just want to wallow some more. I feel so ashamed of being American
right now and I find it very hard to be around anyone except those I
know agree with me EXACTLY.  I know I have to stop this, but gee whiz .
. . .
  

    
<kgf> get yourself over to www.sorryeverybody.com
  

    
Oh, I know.  My son pointed me that that--and it does help.
  

    
also perhaps fuckthesouth.com