The WELL: pre.vue.24: ask clmyers, the Krakpot Online Shrink!

#1072: a long night's journey into day (poet-lariat) Tue 8 Jul 08 22:09

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:09:00 PDT

Thanks, Cindy.

I don't think there is a simple one-size-fits-all answer to the problem. I'll report back after I speak with someone who, hopefully, has cognitive/behavioral and/or hypno-therapy expertise.

Of course, a psychologist will tend to approach the psychological aspects of the problem. Traumatic memories, shaky self-confidence, limbic loops. OK, that's why I'm consulting a psychologist. I'm not sure I want to get into re-working the past events. It seems to me that this is almost a chimera, a psychological mirage. But that could be because of my own orientation to a more spiritual, holistic approach to experience. By that, I am not saying that I advocate avoiding the traumatic, only that in my view it is better to subsume it under higher level categories that allow for true, deeper healing.

I have been addressing the musicological and physiological aspects of the problem. Interestingly, Robert Jourdain's book, 'Music, the Brain and Ecstasy', has provided some interesting models for contemplation. In writing about great performers, he notes that musicians at the top of their game are focusing on the deeper musical hierarchies and structures of the works, instead of the physical aspects of producing the notes. This is good stuff. I had heard this from other performers already, in much less academic language: "It's all about the music; stay focused on the music." but of course, this also assumes a level of complete mastery where none of the notes is posing a problem. For that, nothing can take the place of fearless and unrelenting attention to detail, not allowing the slightest screw-up to evade attention: if it is repeated in the same spot, it evidences a physiological confusion or "mis-mapping" of the sequence of events. Slowing the suspect passage down to extreme slow speed allows one to re-map the entire muscular and mental process. This is indispensable. And in the past, I was completely glossing over this level.

One major problems for perfectionists is the tendency to stop and obsess when mistakes take place. My current classical instructor, [Bahram Behroozi], along with his many other considerable virtues, is pre-eminent in not paying attention to small accidental errors. He is only interested in the mechanics of making music, and patterns (repeated errors) of mistakes. One of the best things musicians can do, IMO, to overcome this terrible habit (stopping and re-starting, obsessing...) is to SING along. This seems to entrain much deeper and powerful brain mechanisms, both conscious and subconscious: allies one's consciousness to the musical contour, the larger patterns of the journey. If an error occurs, one's singing and commitment are to the larger pattern, and the mistake drifts quickly away like a piece of driftwood in the wake of a fast boat.

Another helpful process for me has been to focus on "proprioception", the internal/interior perception of the body. To this I would ally one's mental picture of the harmonic and musical structure: in fact, the mental "rehearsal" or recreation of a piece is a form of extended physical mapping. When the attention is withdrawn into the interior castle, the danger of "accidents"/external events impinging is greatly reduced. [Read entire topic]

#1071: your own private (clmyers) Tue 8 Jul 08 12:48

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:48:00 PDT

Buh? You bring me out of retirement for a performance art on performance anxiety.

Here are my thoughts, sir poet.

The trouble with such anxiety is that it tends to be self-reinforcing. Have an anxiety attack once, then anticipate having another one, which you do, and so on and so on. One goal I would set for myself in that situation would be to break that pattern of conditioning.

I don't know if hypnotherapy would help, but it'd be worth a try. As would a cognitive-behavioral kind of therapy that is designed to break these kind of thought/response patterns.

Another thought would be to call up Carly Simon and ask her how she copes? She's almost as famous for her performance anxiety as she is for her string of hits.

This article is interesting: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20631646/ [Read entire topic]

#1070: metric buttload of (cjp) Tue 8 Jul 08 12:06

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:06:00 PDT

Fascinating question that I'd love to hear answered! [Read entire topic]

#1069: a long night's journey into day (poet-lariat) Mon 7 Jul 08 21:33

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:33:00 PDT

I was looking at old topics and saw this one being inactive. I wonder if the Krakpot Shrink is still around. If so, I will pose a puzzler that I am already seeking advice on, namely performance anxiety, jitters, black outs in performing classical music publicly.

There is a certain irony here in that in the last two years I have begun for the first time to perform completely free-form unrehearsed improvised ragas in public. For these, if I have any landmarks or strategy at all, it usually gets jettisoned in the first few seconds of improvisation. Remarkably, I have very little anxiety or fears about this style of play. There do occasionally occur "glitches", but since I am confident of my ability to turn these to good account (a great jazz teacher once called improvisation "the art of recovery"), and make something interesting happen, they do not hang me up.

Performing classical repertoire, OTOH, is a whole different beast. Playing pieces that I can almost play in my sleep and nail every time in the studio becomes a boot camp of tension, anxiety, fear and trembling, blackouts small and large. This has improved especially in the last year. There is a big component of sheer competence and the confidence borne from achieving higher levels of competence; and the endless hours of practice are therefore bearing much solid fruit. But the gremlins still wait in the wings. My sister, a counselor/therapist, has suggested hypnotherapy might be a good thing to try. What says Dr. Krakpot? [Read entire topic]

#1068: Moon howls back (poet-lariat) Thu 16 Dec 04 17:05

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 17:05:00 PST

thanks. It truly feels that that is happening. There will always be a bit of rough riding when you hit the white water though, negotiating around submerged boulders.... [Read entire topic]

#1067: just your average bodice-ripping intellectual (clmyers) Wed 15 Dec 04 09:33

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 09:33:00 PST

Yes I agree. Those flashbacks are an overwhelmed psyche's attempt to digest and integrate and it's sort of like a pinball machine flashing "TILT!!!!"

I am hoping that incident of a year ago represents rock bottom for the two of them and that they are finding better ways to navigate this difficult terrain together. [Read entire topic]

#1066: Moon howls back (poet-lariat) Tue 14 Dec 04 23:16

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 23:16:00 PST

The flashbacks are his, and are coming from re-emerging/recovered memories of sexual abuse by his father in childhood. And they are wreaking havoc, although by now, I think they both have developed some tools for dealing with the episodes. However, about a year ago, a flashback triggered an interaction that then hooked into my daughter's own minefield, set off a chain reaction that cost them (and me) several thousand in court fees and a physical separation.

Oh, how we all need so much healing! However, I still am grateful in that in my view, the fact that he is recovering the memories signifies a readiness for a much deeper and more thorough healing. [Read entire topic]

#1065: just your average bodice-ripping intellectual (clmyers) Tue 14 Dec 04 16:34

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 16:34:00 PST

How are these episodes affecting her ability to do her life right now? [Read entire topic]

#1064: Moon howls back (poet-lariat) Tue 14 Dec 04 16:05

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 16:05:00 PST

Thanks very much, Cindy (BTW, I do know it's *CLmyers*; it's just that I go with the quick dyslexic read, AND it's easier to pronounce!)

I had posed the question to my sister, who it turned out is a big fan of EMDR, and other neurofeedback approaches. Then, as it also turned out, my daughter had in her own restless explorations, touched on most of these bases and had very decided opinions about all of them. Decided not to get in the middle of them. And, you were correct about the flashbacks, they are symptomatic of PTSD. It's just that these things take time, time, time.... [Read entire topic]

#1063: it's time for a colorful metaphor (jmcarlin) Mon 13 Dec 04 22:52

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 22:52:00 PST

There are a growing number of studies using standard western methodologies which shows value in acupuncture. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?CMD=search&DB=pubmed and search on 'acupuncture'. [Read entire topic]