Tortilla Soup

I am VERY sad, as my cooking friend for next weekend has been called out of town, so I’m staying at her house but we will NOT be having our fabulous dinner party. Boo and hoo.

My ex emailed me a day or so ago, “I know you gave me the recipe for your tortilla soup but I’ve lost the recipe book and I’m jonesing for
it.” I wrote it in a style that reflected our cooking relationship:

3 boxes Swanson’s Organic Chicken Broth Yes, it has to be organic. I know the minimart didn’t have it. Don’t buy food at the minimart.

1 onion, diced. Smaller than that.

couple of cloves garlic, diced, or a tablespoon of that chopped garlic used by Poles and other infidels

1 tablespoon of cumin seeds (not powder! powder nasty!) mashed up with a mortar and pestle. The rock, with the rock stick.

leetle bit of oregano, like oh, a tablespoon, smushed. Did you wash your hands?

1 can Rotel tomatoes (Yeah the velveeta dip tomatoes)

Chicken breasts (Heh. She said ‘breasts.’ Heh.)

Fresh or frozen corn, couple of cups

Put a little olive oil into a soup pan and saute the onion until soft. Add the garlic at the last minute, if it cooks too long it becomes
bitter. Throw in the cumin and oregano with the garlic, saute for about a minute or so. Add chicken broth and Rotel. Put 3 or 4 chicken
breasts in, simmer for thirty or forty minutes until chicken is done. (I always throw in the whole bag, and kept the extra poached ones for
other stuff.) Remove chicken breasts from soup pan. Use hand blender to puree soup in pan. Add corn. That’s too much. Do you think we’re MADE of corn?

Shred chicken breasts by hand. Don’t just hack them into huge rude cubes. (You lazy beast! I’m watching you! Aiggghhhhh… must. have.
complete culinary control… ack. Thud.)

Slice a number of flour tortillas into strips. Heat peanut oil in a skillet (olive oil not good at high temp). When the oil is hot, add the
tortilla strips in batches, giving them a little room. Drain on paper towels. Oh, for Christ’s sake put a PLATE under the paper towels.

Put chicken breasts and tortilla strips in the bottom of bowl, ladle hot soup over. Garnish with shredded cheddar, avocado, chopped
cilantro, jalapeno peppers, and White Death’s first cousin, yummy yummy sour cream. I know sour cream looks like mayo. It tastes nothing like mayo. Then don’t put any in yours! Look. I’m licking the sour cream spoon…. Eat it in good health. Go and jones no more.

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