Copyright 1991 Aya Katz
He couldn't convince the D.A. to let me off. And I sat there through that silly interview with the overweight probation officer he sent me to. I wonder how a person decides to become a probation officer. Anyway, he seemed like someone with more than his share of problems. And the way he was looking at me tended to confirm everything that David said about a Vacuum County jury and its prejudices.
And now I have to decide whether it's worth fighting over. Worth risking jail time over. I don't really care about nailing Abner so much any more. I did at first. I was furious. Furious and frightened. At regular intervals, the predominant emotion would take over. And I thought it was my duty to prevent this from happening to anybody else, too. Only, lately, I've begun to think that this would never have happened to anybody else. Maybe it's just some weird quality in me that provoked him. Everybody seems to like Abner, pretty much. Everyone at the Brown 'N Serve, anyway. Even David said he's a good Sheriff, whatever that means. A perjurer, but a good Sheriff.
After all, I don't belong here. I don't understand their ways. Maybe they're perfectly happy the way they are. I just want to get out.
The only thing that bugs me is pleading guilty. That would be a lie. Why should he be able to force me into a lie? Why should I place the noose round my own neck? It's a pretty spooky system. Once you're charged with something, you're faced with all the hard choices and your accuser can just take it easy.
I never realized that before. I seem to recall being told just the opposite in government class. Something about the State having the burden of proof. Some burden!
I wish I could just go up in front of the Judge and tell the truth and let him decide. But David says we can't get a good deal unless I plead.
He says I don't actually have to say the word guilty. I can plead no contest, and he explained what the difference was, which I didn't really understand, but it still sounds like copping out to me.
I want to go home and I want it over with. I tried calling my parents last night, but didn't get anywhere. Didn't even get the embassy. The phone lines were all busy. Sure. I believe that.
Who am I kidding? There's really just one sensible choice.
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To see Aya and Bow proofing Vacuum County, watch this video: