Don't moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about
sexist discrimination. Weve all been thrown down stairs and f--ed
about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely
disguised song about it instead and clean up ($$$).

Never pretend you know more than you do. If you don't know chord
names, refer to the dots. Don't go near the desk unless you plan
on becoming an engineer.

Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best
in them; that's your job.  Oh, and you better sound good, too.

Do not insist on working with "females"; that's just more b.s. Get
the best man for the job. If it happens to be a woman, great -
you'll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead
of making one of the road crew go with you.

Try not to have a sexual relationship within the band. It always
ends in tears.

Don't think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look f--able
will help. Remember you're in a rock and roll band. It's not "f--
me," it's "f-- you"!

Don't try to compete with the guys; it won't impress anybody.
Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don't
offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.

If you sing, don't "belt" or "screech." No one wants to hear that
sh--; it sounds "hysterical."

Shave your legs, for chrissakes!

Don't take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.