Q: What is 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?
A: Bo Derek getting older.

Maybe it's true that life begins at forty. But everything else starts
to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the
other two I forget.

You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just as
long as you don't have to go along.

I'm at the age now that when I go out with a girl, I can't take yes for
an answer.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every man. Isn't that the damnedest time for a guy to get those odds?

I must be getting old. I threw out a Playboy calendar merely because it
was last year's.

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start
confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have
begun to grow in the middle.

Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy.

A woman never forgets her age once she decides what it is.

You can stay young forever if you live modestly, get lots of sleep,
work hard, pray daily, and lie about your age.