Your First Mammogram

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and
doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for
the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises
right in your home.

EXERCISE 1:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
the main compartment. Have one of your friends slam the door shut and lean
on it.  Hold the position for five seconds. Repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 2:

Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just
perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with
one breast wedged under a heavy box.  Have a friend sit down on the box.
Holdl this position for five seconds.  Turn over and repeat for the other
breast.

EXERCISE 3:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger
into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the
bookends together as hard as you can.  Ask the stranger to meet next year
and do it again.