What happened during my NDE? I never knew, at the time, what was happening. I just wanted to go to sleep. Somewhere, somehow a Voice transmitted info that I would die if I didn't get some help. (This happened after I had gone home from the dr.)
I got help, but that Voice that transmitted the info to me was such a monumental mystery to me that I continued searching for answers to this mystery and the many more that followed.
About two years ago I believe that what actually happned during my NDE surfaced. Since i've always been a self-effacing person, i couldnt not accept that something this wondrous would happen to be. when i finally made a crack in my negative ego armour, then the experience came up for me to deal with. Here's what happened (in a nutshell):
I found myself in the Light, though I have no idea how I got there. The Light was everywhere, brilliant and totally loving. Yet there was a kind of void where the Light wasn't. I still don't understand this.
There is no way I can convey to you the happiness, the joy, the total and complete LOVE that is out there (and in here). It IS is all I can say. Nirvana, ecstasy, all these words together may give you a brief experience of what it was.
In the Light there is total Oneness and I "knew" things though there is no way to explain how. Again, it just IS.
I knew that the Light that I was immersed in was the Christ Consciousness. It is THE Light as far as I know. God-Goddess created the Light and the Light created us.
In an instant, every question that I had ever had was answered. The Satisfaction of that moment is beyond description. I was not able to bring back all the info that I received for if I did, there would have been no reason for me to be a part of this earth school, and it would have been too overwhelming for me (the limited self that I am, Karol).
There was no delineation or no separation between myself and all of the Light. We were all One.
My next experience was that of receiving information. It felt as if I was a mega computer, receiving all the data from all my parallel, past, present and future lives. I recognized each emotional experience I was having, but because I was a part of All Things, I wasn't immersed in the emotion like I would be now when I feel depression or sadness, etc. It was a tremendous experience that again, I still don't fully understand.
Lastly, I finally "saw" an image, though I was not in my physical body. The image presented as a Hand of God, the only way I know to describe it. In the huge hand was a ball of light. Somehow I knew that the limited me, Karol, had been separated again from the Oneness and that ball of light was me. Then I knew it was time to go back. I felt myself go down, down, down and slip into the top of my head.
The difference between where I had been and being back in the body was itself a learning experience. Because of the negative emotions that humans carry around, I felt like I had been plunged into a swamp of yuckiness. It was truly a horrible experience and I have been working diligently to release all of my repressed emotions, and it will certainly take years to do that.
Returning from the Light, I recognized myself to be suddenly psychic, bombarded with other-dimentional info that I could not explain. I have worked to integrate these abilities into myself, but it's been a long, painful, fearful, process that grows easier and easier.
At present, my skill levels are high in Intuition and Innovation. I am an Empath, picking up feelings/thoughts of others. I am able to see the Big Picture or to be able to see consequences before most people can. I have spontanous visions that are still new and wondrous to me as they appear in my mind's eye as if on a television screen. This ability needs to be understood more fully before I can use it. I have precognitive dreams on occasion, lucid dreams on occasion, and a few times I have heard celestial music and unearthly voices/words.
I've tried to keep this experience to a minimum because the brain has the urge to "fill in the gaps" and therefore change the experience. There's a lot I don't know about what happened to me, but this is what I DO know. We are loved beyond our understanding. I hope this experience has value or meaning to any of you. I'm in the process of joining as many researchers as I can to help explore this wondrous experience called NDE.
Karol Ann Barnett
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