I have had several Awakenings in my life. I feel very fortunate to be able to say this. Let me define 'Awakening' (and I use a capital A because if anything ever deserved it it is THIS event!): It is a permanent shift in 1)awareness (followed by further permanent shifts in) 2) attitudes/feelings; 3) understanding; and, 4) behavior. It is very, very clear what has happened and why. It is similar to getting 'big new eyes' is as best as I can represent it physically.
Well, I am 55 years old. A professor of psychology. Director of the Institute for Transformational Studies, which means 'I know a lot' about human shifts in awareness, etc. and should be above all of them, right? I got a guru in the 70's - the thing to do. I meditated. I read. Listened to tapes. Formed and joined groups. Retreated. Ate macrobiotically. Was a full-time psychotherapist. Yadda yadda yadda.
Regardless, I was NOT prepared for what happened next.
I had heard of this new Western 'guru' (boy, words can be so so expressively limiting!) breaking into the open. So, I went to San Diego to gather info for my webzine, INNER JUNGLE ADVENTURES, about this guy. Besides, I like San Diego! So, off I go to spend three days with Satyam Nadeen at Whole Life Expo in Del Mar, where he had been asked to speak.
I finished the article on the way home, and I must tell you all that we have something going on here bigtime. I read his book, "FROM ONIONS TO PEARLS ~ A Journal of Awakening and Deliverance", before I left, and in it he states that this may be the last spiritual or self-help or personal growth book you will ever be interested in again. I get his point now, that's for sure.
Nadeen spent 5 years in prison doing very hard time, became enlightened and has been in bliss ever sense. What he has to say goes a lot deeper than what Neale Walsch is saying in Conversations with God, and is going to rock the socks off a lot of suppositions about the world of "self" (Nadeen says there is no 'self' whatsoever) and "spirituality" (Nadeen says there is no 'karma', no 'reincarnation', 'nothing to do' ((because 'we are not the doer')), and spotlights the parameters of constant bliss and joy. And I GOT all that. It is not new info... it is Lao-Tzu, Advaita Vedanta, etc., but somehow being in Nadeen's presence and with his Western way of expressing things, I finally GOT it...it crept over me like warm butter and an ocean breeze simultaneously.
The effect: I laugh all the time, I feel "free" all the time (oh, I do "bob in and out" when my old conditioning gets triggered - but only for a second), and my compulsive behaviors are gone - I mean GONE! No more workaholism, no more frantic scurrying around. No more worrying. AND, no more - what I loosely call - 'codependent behaviors' of trying to think through other people or needing them to be a certain way. These are major life-changing shifts.
Why am I telling all this? Because I was keeping the light to myself. As a matter of fact, I have just mailed the article off to the top spirit-new age magazines in the country, rather than keepping it for my web-site, to see if they want to publish it first.
For the first time ever, I finally get Buddha's concept of Detachment. (A capital D on purpose!) It has finally dawned on me not only what he meant but the ramifications in my daily life (Nadeen calls this the 'Deliverance' phase of the Awakening).
I know I have a whole new life at 55 - amazing, astounding, wonderful! Namaste!