A Shamanic Call

When my shamanic call came, it literally scared me out of my wits.

One evening at about 8:00 PM I decided to go out on the porch and watch a thuderstorm. Thunder and lightning have always impressed me and I just wanted to enjoy God's show. I had recently created an altar honoring my animal allies and had performed various celebrations of my own creation using a rattle, incense and prayers. Most of my interest has been in the Native American Shaman experience and I felt comfortable doing these exercises. Recently I experienced feeling overwelmed by my "dance", so much so that the dance seemed to want to take control of me, so I stopped.

At the time I was alone at home. I have no neighbors to the North of me and the neighbors to my South were not at home. In the middle of a fantastic sky light show I distinctly heard the chanting of a very deep, resonant male voice that sounded like a Native American. Accompanying the voice was the sound of a rattle. Thinking that someone was playing a trick on me, I looked around, but saw no one. I thought that perhaps the televsion was on inside but looking in, I saw that the TV was off.

Then it seemed that perhaps someone had broken into my home, so I bravely walked into the house. In the house I realized that the sound was coming from the room where my altar was located. Nothing seemed to be disturbed. I was too afraid to do anything but go to bed.

I related my experience to a friend who has been helping me to understand shaminism. She suggested to me that I had received my "call". At first a bit skeptical, I began to review my life. I realized that over the half century of my Earth journey I have received many calls. Most of these calls I have in one way or another ignored or avoided. I have come to realize that I have paid a price for not heeding these calls. I now know that I do not want to waste my time here when there is indeed a path I should follow.

Since my call I have begun to find peace in my "alternative" beliefs. My strong Catholic background and pressure from family and peers have played strong roles in my struggle to come to terms with my path and my instincts.

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