I spent a lot of time with my grandmother (Dad's side) when I was a child and I would occasionally hear her discuss with my grandfather about floating out of her body and taking "trips", contacting spirits of departed relatives, talking about UFO's, etc. I didn't really understand what she meant most of the time, but this, combined with what was happening to me, generally scared me to death.
I tried not to think about it, but at night it was exceptionally difficult. I think I spent most of my childhood sleeping hours hiding under the covers, scared beyond words.
When I was 10 years old, my great grandmother (Dad's, Mom's Mom) passed away, at my grandmother's house, and I just happen to be staying there. She passed away around mid morning and by that evening things had settled down a little. That night while I was laying there trying to go to sleep, "GG" as I called her, showed up at the foot my bed. She was beautiful. She was smiling and had her hands clasped together across her lower waist. I was absolutely terrified. She told me not to cry or be afraid because she would always be near me to protect me. She kind of hung there for a minute and then sort of vanished.
I flipped out, went running to my grandmother's bedroom, proceeded to tell her what had just happened and she said very matter of factly, "GO will always be with you". The one thing that really struck me odd that night was G.G. was wearing glasses (which she wore for as along as I could remember). My thought at the time was that I didn't know people had to wear glasses in heaven.
Other times (and this happened off and on over a period of years) I'd be laying in bed and would wake up to someone calling my name and talking to me (everyone use to call me Bobby as a kid) - and that's what this thing would call me.
Sometimes I felt it would come from somewhere in my bedroom, other times I felt it would come from somewhere outside (we were living is a semi-remote area of Lake Tahoe at the time). It was always a funny, kind of metallic sounding voice, almost 'robotic'. And, it didn't come through my ears, it just came into my head.
Well, when the voice would come, I'd high tail it into the folks bedroom and they'd tell me that I was having a bad dream and to go back to bed. Sometimes I'd barely hear the voice, not quite awake, but could see these little guys around my bed working on me or something. At those times, I didn't care because 1). I couldn't even get a finger to move, let alone my feet, to get out of there and 2). I was too sleepy to worry about it. Some mornings I'd wake up feeling like I had gone somewhere the night before, and didn't know where.
One night I actually woke up in a meadow (about 3/4 of a mile from our house), my pajamas were damp from the dew on the grass and I didn't know how I got there. I just remember sitting there, looking around and feeling the cool night air. I remember thinking that Mom would have a fit if she knew I was out there at that time of the night. It was a place where I use to play during the day (kind of my special place to go to be alone) but I'd never go there at night because you had to go through some pretty thick woods to get there and it was difficult to see. The next thing I knew, it was morning and I was back home in bed. Many, many other times I would see wispy things fly by, 'lights' around people and lights come to me at night.
There's a lot of other things that happened but the point is, it all bothered me, it all seemed very strange to me and I didn't want to talk to anyone about it for fear they would send me to the funny farm (I did talk to my grandmother about it later on and she advised me that it was a subject that most people would not understand and I'd be better off not talking about it). So, as I grew up, I basically just shut it out and wrote it off as an over active imagination and something I didn't really care to understand. (As I began to remember some of this stuff within the last couple of years, and still wasn't sure about it all, I casually asked my sister in a conversation one day if she remembered anything unusual that may have occurred during our childhood. She asked me why and I told her that I was just curious. Her immediate response was "Yeah, all the 'chanting' you use to do at night, it really scared me." I asked her what she meant and she said, "you use to chant and say, you're not going to take me away, you're not going to take me away". She went on to say, "Don't you remember, Bob, all of the stuff that you'd talk about happening to you at night and Mom and Dad just kind of blew you off".
I don't know if this relates, or not, but as a child I had a passion for flying and building things. I was always building model airplanes and rockets, and graduated in to some very sophisticated electronics. I built robots and all kinds of electro-mechanical gizmo's. I was always in my room conjuring up some new fangled treat. I felt like I had this special 'knowledge' that I didn't know how I came by, put people were always amazed at what I cranked out.
I also got kind of mischievous with it. One time my sister had a girl friend that I was really taken with. This girl would come over and she and Kelly would play in Kelly's room. I would wonder if the girl would ever say anything about me and Kelly would never tell me. She liked holding 'secret info' over her brother's head. So, I took a book from Kelly's bookcase (a hard back copy of the Wizard of Oz), proceeded to hollow it out by carefully cutting a rectangle shaped hole down thru the pages, glued the pages together to form a nice, deep pocket, took apart a walkie talkie I had and carefully insert the 'guts' inside my 'bug', securing it so that it would be in a transmit mode. I wired the on/off switch into another section I had cut out so that would just barely stick out of the book and I could turn it on and off very quickly. I fixed the antenna so that it was attached to the back of the bookcase out of sight and, voila, I was my own personal 'book bug' planted in my sister's room. I thought I was hot stuff. I listened to countless secret conversations. I never did find out if the girl liked me or not. Mom finally discovered it while dusting the bookcase one day and that put an end to my bug. I was officially accused of, a). ruining a perfectly good book and b). spying on Kelly. They never did see the beauty in the masterpiece I had created! Kelly was very suspicious of me for a long time after that...
When I started college and had some free time, I use to go to this park in San Angelo (west Texas) to study once in awhile. Typically during the week, no one else would be there in the late afternoons and it offered a quiet, inspirational place to get some things done. There was a creek that ran through the area and flowed into a small lake next to the park. Lots of birds, trees and grass, just a really peaceful place. One late afternoon I had dropped by my spot at the park and wanted to get a lot done before sunset. I had my books and papers spread out on a picnic table and began to study. The next thing I knew, I was sitting there, looking at my books, but, it was DARK. I looked at my watch and it was about 9 p.m. I still had my pencil in my hand, upright on the paper, as if I was in the middle of writing something. I was puzzled. I never stayed there after dark to study because there wasn't any lighting available. I sat there for a minute thinking about where the time had gone (I arrived there around 4 p.m.) and happened to look up above the lake, which was directly in front of me. There, just above the water, this light blue object zipped into view and began to hover. It was quite large and absolutely beautiful. It was long (side to side) and thin (top to bottom) and radiated this gorgeous blue color which reflected off the water. I was also taking flying lessons at the time and was very familiar with a variety of aircraft. I remember initially thinking, boy THIS is SOME KIND of airplane. The entire deal was very peaceful and didn't bother me at all as I was sort of in a daze. All of a sudden, a flaming object of some kind came out of one end of the craft, kind of a small ball of flames about the size of a basketball, flew through the tops of the trees and landed in a field not far from where I was sitting. I started to come out of my daze thinking that this fire ball thing was going to catch the field on fire and that I needed to report it. After the fire ball landed in the field, the craft pitched up and zipped out of there. It kind of zig zagged around the night sky as it climbed at an incredible speed and within a split second, it was gone. At that point, having watched it leave, I was looking almost straight up into the sky. I mean, it covered some airspace very quickly. I went out into the field to try and find the fire ball thing but it wasn't where I thought it had come down. I remembered that there was a fire station just up the road and I proceeded to drive up there to report it. The guy I talked to looked at me a little strange but told me he would check out the area and I went on back the dorm. The next day, I read in the local paper that the air traffic controllers at the airport I was flying out of had reported seeing a long, blue 'UFO' nearby and even followed it radar for awhile. For years I wondered what happened to 5 hours of my time that day, but, now I have an idea. I think I took a little 'trip' with some unusual friends of mine.
I still don't know what the fire ball part of it means. And, now, having reviewed many of these events in my life, I feel that I probably had contact with these guys throughout my childhood. I've had a couple of other sightings experiences during my adult life, but nothing like what happened in San Angelo. I've done a lot of research into this and now I feel fairly comfortable with it and accept it (although it is still sometimes difficult to talk about).
Occasionally in the mornings, Jan would comment about the 'noises last night' but the conversations, at that point, wouldn't go much farther. It was also about this time that Jan started bringing home books from the library that dealt with generic self-help subjects. (I was in the middle of my crisis with my daughters and Jan was trying to finds ways to help me with it). Once in awhile she would encourage me to read a particular book that she felt inspired by or she would bring up certain issues in her readings to chew on, that related to her past or my past. This process started small and on an occasional basis, and ultimately grew into a full time study and passion for us. Through those early 'sessions', I eventually spilled my guts to Jan and as more came out of me, she would find another book on the subject and off we'd go. We spent many an hour, talking and searching. I can't even begin to describe how gentle, loving and accepting Jan was when hearing of these things and she gradually helped me to get a lot of it out on the table. It didn't frighten her (too much) and she didn't judge or label me.
I'd like to share with you a poem Jan wrote for me and gave to me in a homemade card, the day I left my 'real' job and stepped out of the rat race. This might give you a sense of how special she is. It was inspired, in part, by a song we were drawn to at the time called 'No Man's Land' by Bob Seger. If there was ever a song that could sum up my life up to that point, this was it. If you haven't heard it, it worth the few minutes to listen to.
Jan called her gift to me, "New Beginnings", and I keep it in my office where I can look at it always.
As you start these new beginnings
And the road seems long and hard
Glance back to the path we have taken
And remember I am by your side.
You are leaving 'No Man's land'
And entering a life of challenge and rewards
Days may bet busy and sometimes defeating
But remember, sanctuary WILL come
with some kind of risk.
Times may get lonely
And the days long and hard
You may even miss the 'eagles that soar'
But remember you are living what others dream
As we take this path in our life together
Go forth with my love to support you
Our future is ours to discover
And remember God's grace is with us always.
We left Tennessee and arrived in Springfield Missouri in October 1991 where we continued a period of extensive and painful self evaluation. We had left our 140 acre sanctuary to move into a 600 sq ft apartment overlooking a swimming pool and a tennis court.
We were now on our own so to speak, unemployed, scared and starting some kind of a new beginning. After the novelty of the change wore off, I fell into a severe depression and was basically lost. Jan tried to keep things rolling for us, but I basically checked out. I wondered what the hell I thought I was doing and what right did I have to put my family through this. A strange town, we knew absolutely nobody and didn't have a clue as to what we were going to do. Leaving that structured, semi-secure world we had know all of our lives was not easy.
As time went on things got a little better or I guess we started to just accept who we were and where we had come from and just tried to get a grip on living day to day. The rentals offered a welcomed distraction for us but we still weren't sure where we were headed and why we were doing all of this. People avoided us like the plague. The few friends we did make, generally managed to place stipulations on our relationship, seemingly using us, controlling us and in general, consuming us. We stayed in Springfield for about 5 months and ultimately moved on to Carthage.
One day a couple years ago, we had a violent thunderstorm roll through the area. Jan wasn't home at the time and I was working on the computer. The storm began quickly and it seemed as if some of the lightning associated with it was concentrated directly over our house (we get some real doozies out here).
The lightning struck continually and with a force I had never experienced before. It immediately knocked the power out and, in checking the phone, I discovered it was out too. I figured the phone was down for the long haul and was beginning to get concerned about how to get in touch with Jan. Things got so bad that with each successive strike, my hair would tingle and stand straight out. At one point I had to lay on the floor because I thought I was going to get nailed.
Suddenly, the phone rang. It was a friend of ours and she said that she was told to call me immediately. Apparently, the storm was raging in her area too and their lights kept flickering. She felt that something was trying to 'talk' to her so she connected with it. She told me that GO had asked her to call and check on me. I told her that I was fine and that we'd better get off the phone before we got zipped. I hung up and went into the other room.
Then it occurred to me, the phone was down. I immediately went back to the phone and picked it up. No dial tone - it was still down. Did the line open up in the middle of this storm just long enough for this person to call me, or what?
That one blew me away. Later I found out that this lady has had similar strange and unusual things happen to her too, and her and I have discussed it at times. Shortly thereafter, we moved into another house and the week following the move Jan had to go to Texas to visit her Aunt who was very sick. From the first time we stepped into this house, I sensed a presence. (The lady from the phone call deal also sensed it). Anyway, one morning around 4 a.m., while Jan was in Texas, I got up to go to the bathroom. I climbed back in bed and rolled over on my right side.
I hadn't been there ten seconds when I felt this 'finger' touch me at the base of my neck and gently run up my neck, under my hair and around my left ear. Kind of a loving, play with your ear thing that Jan would sometimes do to me at night. I laid there enjoying the moment when it donned on me that Jan was in Texas. I whirled around just in time to see a white burst of light above the bed. Later, that same morning I briefly saw the image of a woman standing just outside our bedroom door.
As time went on, I felt that whatever this was, was really getting strong. I would feel it in bed with us, I would feel it in different parts of the house. I could hold out my hand at times and 'feel' the energy of it coming through me as if it wanted me to find it (which I eventually did). Jan began to sense it too. One time it even helped me put my coat on when I was about to go outside... I also began to sense another presence in our house. This one seemed angry. I felt like there was some kind of spiritual conflict going on in our house but couldn't quite explain why. Things were basically starting to get pretty weird again, and a lot of my old childhood memories came back. At about the same time frame Jan had checked out "Spirit Song" by Mary Summer Rain, from the library. She enticed me to read it and, needless to say, it changed our lives.
We began to read other Native American flavored books. This led us to begin hanging out at the New Age section of our book store looking for the next 'special' book to jump out. The spiritual essence and spiritual messages these authors brought forth began to tie a lot of things together for us. I can't describe the peaceful, 'everything is starting to make sense' feeling we both began to experience as we progressed into this area. Some of the unusual events in my life began to fall together and I started to believe that maybe I wasn't a funny farm candidate after all.
I began to believe that the things that I had seen and experienced in my life were perhaps 'gifts' and not events to be afraid of. I reasoned that maybe I was a little more receptive to "paranormal" activity than some other people - maybe my antenna was just a little more sensitive. And, perhaps, all of these events were some kind of subtle hint, a message or a lesson that I was suppose to work on. I still didn't know what it all meant, or how it related to other things, but it wouldn't be long before I found out.
On the flip side, the prophetic messages of coming earth changes and such, seemed to be a common theme throughout all the material (albeit different versions and opinions), and this really threw us for a loop. Initially, we looked at it as really putting a major kink in our plans for the future. "Heck, why bother to do anything now, we ain't gonna be here much longer anyway..." One of these, "This isn't fair. How come nobody told us about this stuff before?"
We dove into a reading/studying frenzy. We couldn't get our hands on enough information. What felt right, we read. What didn't, we didn't. We became a couple of sponges and tried to absorb it all. I started to understand that most of my life I had been listening to this voice inside of me, and 'it' always showed me the right way. I started to understand that we HAD to leave our jobs, had to leave that world and move here. We both started to understand that maybe we had something important to offer. However, all of this still prompted many more questions than answers for us.
We decided that we needed to talk to someone about this stuff and that we needed to be very careful not to get hooked up with someone that would lead us down some bizarre path. Well, that someone came into our lives shortly thereafter. We did some digging and came upon a person that told us that we needed to meet with a man who was 'medicine'. We were told his earth name was Lighting Elk and we were to meet him the following Tuesday at a herb store out in the country.
When we walked in the store he was sitting there quietly behind the counter. He was an intense sort of a little guy, with steel blue eyes, a cocky grin, bald as a cucumber, and he was WHITE. I guess with a name like Lighting Elk, I expected to meet an Indian - another lesson learned very quickly.
He was introduced to us as Lyman and he said he was from a small town just west of here. We sat there and talked to him for almost 4 hours that day. Occasionally a customer would come in, but by and large, we had his undivided attention (and he had ours!). It was very awkward at first to be there with Lyman, but as time went on and many visits took place, we became very close friends. He was in his late fifties, had just lost his wife of some 25 years, seemed very lonely, and I think he was looking for someone to discuss the events of his life, as well. We discussed life in general, the natural order of things, earth changes, strange events in our lives, strange events in his life, and everything in between.
Many months past and I, personally, spent a lot of time out there with Lyman. He and I became very close. Gradually I discussed with him the usual things that had happened to me in the past and none of it bothered him at all. In fact, he had had many similar things happen to him. He helped me to accept these things and understand these things. His take was basically, "So what? Now you know that you are tied very closely to the spirit world".
He told me a lot about himself and many times we would focus on "the trips" he would take. He explained it by saying "they take me places and I see things of other worlds". Many times it bothered him when this would happen because he never knew when "they" would come. Many of his trips centered around earth changes and learning adventures and, sometimes, he shared these visions with me.
I could tell that he was feeling me out along the way, letting go with a little more information each time we would meet. He was very careful not to just jump in and completely answer my questions, he'd always ask me how I FELT about it or he would just tell me, "think!". That part was very frustrating because it seemed he would talk in circles but when I would really think about what he was saying, generally an answer would come to me and he would just sit there and grin.
One day when I arrived out there Lyman seemed very preoccupied and I knew something was going on. I asked him what was on his mind and he asked me if the 'snake' meant anything to me. I told him not really, other than I wasn't real fond of them, and he just looked at me and said, "think".
He proceeded to tell me about what the snake represented to Native Americans and I remember sitting there wondering what does this have to do with anything. When he finished, he looked at me for awhile and I became very uncomfortable. Finally, he said with a little frustration in his voice, "When are you going to ask me who you are?". I thought, O.K., I'll play along here, and I asked. He matter of factly told me that I was a healer. I was very taken back by what he had told me, if for now other reason then, at the time, it sounded like this discovery carried a lot of responsibility along with it.
We began a teaching of sorts and we spent many hours talking about energies and how/what I felt through my hands. He practiced on me and I practiced on him. Each time the energy I could feel through my hands became much stronger. He taught me how to connect with the healing energy of the Creator and funnel it through me, to another body. He show me how to release the negative stuff I would pull from another body. Gradually I started working on Jan, under his supervision, and helped her some. She was amazed at how her body felt as I did my thing on her. And I was amazed that I could do something like that. Lyman also showed me how to relate with the energies of animals, trees, rocks, etc, and even the weather.
One time Lyman and I had driven down to a little cabin in the woods that Jan and I owned. It was a blustery, cold day and as we entered the property he closed his eyes and held up his hand. I knew he was sensing something and as we proceeded down the long driveway he pointed to an area just north of the cabin and said there was a lot of energy in that area. We parked and walked into the woods to the place he was sensing. He walked over to this one particular tree, looked at me and asked me to feel it. I put my hands on it and it was very WARM. It also seemed to be vibrating a little. It was incredible. I felt the other trees just around it and they all felt cold, about the same temperature as the outside air. All he said was, "do you think trees have the life force"?
Another time we had all decided to go out and eat and Lyman wanted to take us to his favorite chicken place out in the country. While en route, it began to rain. It started coming down in sheets and it was very difficult to see the road. I noticed Lyman was holding out his hand towards the front of the car and the rain suddenly stopped. It was still raining around us, but not in front of us. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he had asked them to stop the rain.
I just looked at him. He grinned and said, "You can do this, too." I've since done this many times. I can sense only what I can describe as hot spots through my right hand when a storm rolls in. I surround myself with protective light and then ask that we be spared the storm's violent activity. At those times the energy becomes very strong in my hand, almost as if I'm pushing the storm away.
At one point, about 6 months after we met Lyman, he told us that it was time to meet with HIS teacher and asked us if we wanted to go and see her. We agreed and a few weeks later went to see Ann. Lyman had talked about Ann many times and we basically knew that she was a Lakota visionary, having worked many years directly with Frank Fools Crow, a Lakota Ceremonial Chief and Holy Man.
Talk about a wild trip. Jan and I were very nervous, not knowing what to expect. We arrived at Ann's to find her, her family and a few friends gathered for Sunday dinner (they live about 4 hours from here). Ann was in the kitchen peeling potatoes. She didn't even turn to greet us. All she said was that she had been waiting for us.
She then asked "who's first" and everyone turned to me and pointed. So Ann and I went outside to an old travel trailer where apparently she did all of her 'readings'. I felt like I was being marched off to meet the lions. I could see Ann's energy and could tell that she was extremely powerful. I had prepared a list of questions for her and we sat there and talked for almost two hours. She was incredible. At first, I was very nervous but she quickly put me at ease and began to tell me stuff about my life that I had always wondered about.
She introduced me to a few of my guides and she had a long conversation with my strongest guide, Antler Paw. She explained that he was a chief from an old US/Canadian border tribe and that he had been with me for a long time. Antler Paw passed on a lot of information that day and it was amazing to watch Ann relate with him. She also introduced me to my 'black wolf' and explained that his breed had been extinct for many years. She told me that he was huge and that he was very happy to have me finally connect with him.
When I told Lyman about my wolf, later while driving home, he just grinned and said that he had seen him walking with me many times. Jan spent about two and half hours with Ann and found out that she, too, has a black wolf (female) guide and Ann was really taken back by this combination of animals with us.
That day really tied up a lot of loose ends for Jan and I and was basically another turning point for us. We've since met with Ann a couple more times and even helped her with a problem that she was having.
I could go on and on about this stuff but suffice it to say that we had wanted to able to talk to others about all of this and now it seemed to be coming in large doses. Our relationship with Lyman continued until last October, at which time it ended. In all of Lyman's power and understanding, he's still human and had some very human lessons that he needed to learn. The long and the short of it is that we no longer see Lyman but we will always be grateful for the lessons he taught us. Probably the most important lesson Lyman taught us was that when we need a "teacher" or need some answers, all we have to do is look within.
Ann had also told me on one occasion that I would be meeting a Hopi Medicine Man soon, and the he was sitting on the bank of a small body of water in AZ.. waiting for me. She also said that Antler Paw wants me to go to Minnesota, to the bank of one of the lakes there, because there is some unresolved business that he and I started long ago, that I must finish. He said that I would find a piece of an elk antler lying on the beach next to a red rock and that I needed it for my work. So these are among the reasons that I feel so strongly about traveling.
I generally shy away from readings, as such, because I think much of the people that do them are just out to make a buck. But Ann was there for us when we need her and we feel a special connection to her.
At this point I don't know where all of this is going (hands/traveling deal) and most of the time lately I feel like I'm in a daze, waiting for the next round of guidance. I am, however, content just to be aware of it for now and know it's available if necessary. I'm also content knowing that I'm just a spiritual being that has elected to come back here to learn some lessons. Being in 'school' has never been easy for me but I am trying to be patient and maintain my connection with the Creator and my spirit friends.
Bob and Jan Hinsey
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