The moment I decided what to do next, they said "Do this" --
as if they, not I, had decided what I should do.
If I changed my mind, they insistently repeated my first thought,
so that my own ideas were transformed into commands from strangers,
and the very fabric of my day to day life became a nightmare.

I thought they might be testing a method to track and interfere with the thought processes of an enemy in wartime,
that they were testing it on the citizens of their own country --
prisoners whose sentence had not included such cruel and inhumane punishment;
myself -- because as the result of an attack camouflaged as an accident,
I was lured into the trauma center of a prison hospital;
myself because I am a writer who is sometimes critical of the establishment.

I dreamed I described what was happening.
I told the President,
a Congressional committee,
and the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
"Only humans who believe neither in God
nor in the sanctity of the human soul
would subject even an enemy in wartime to such torture," I said.

They attempted to justify it,
but when I awoke I did not remember how.

All I remember was that I replied:
"There is no justification."

For all of us, I ask for sanctuary.