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Trapped

A rat in a trap with no way out
Caught in a vise between Love and doubt
Love burning, yearning, longing to fly free
Suspended in terror between you and me

Doubting, suspecting, fearing the worst
Pain in my heart about to burst
Longing for light but trapped in the dark
Shackled, chained, it's no walk in the park

I Love you deeply, truly, madly, I do.
Do you reciprocate, cherish me too?
Or am I a cat's paw, a useful tool?
A simpleton, weakling, laughable fool?

Give me info, data, answers, truth
Internet, databases, white pages, phone booth
Skip trace, look, search, find
Who is on the other end of the line?

Is there no surcease, no end to this pain?
Is the light in the tunnel an oncoming train?
Will I find the truth, and stand there enrapt?
Or am I forever, perpetually trapped?

Robbie Hatley, Thursday March 19, 1998


This is my darkest poem so far. It is about suspicion, paranoia, jealousy, and fear. And it is especially about internet penpal relationships, where there is always that nagging doubt: "is the person I am talking to actually who and what he/she claims to be?" This particular brand of paranoia is child of the age of the internet. These days one can fall deeply in Love with a person, without ever setting eyes on that person. Truly, one of the road hazards of the information superhighway is the danger of a broken heart.


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