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Perhaps the kernel of a script, short story or novel can be found in these meanderings. This type of satiric concept is not unprecedented. SLICK WILLY sounds like the title of a movie that Clarence Thomas would rent at an XXX video store. Ya know, I was watching David Letterman... or was it Conan O'Brien?... Guess what someone on the tube said? A statistical study indicates that the Stock Market goes down whenever Mayor Guiliani closes the strip joints in New York City. The reason? Testosterone loss. Investors lose their balls, so to speak. Maybe flamewars produce the same result as NYC stripjoints. CyberSteroids to pump up Wall Street? The results of the statistical study could explain why we'll be seeing more candidates like Jesse Ventura in the near future. Isn't Hulk Hogan planning to run for President of the USA in 2000? This could also explain the frothing "Get Clinton" editorials in the Wall Street Journal. Clinton is the best friend that the Stock Market ever had--why does the WSJ seemingly despise him so? My theory: their editorial staff is fully aware of the fact that the Senate will never give Clinton the boot. But by infuriating white male conservative investors each morning, the WJS helps the Dow skyrocket towards 10,000. Keep those nasty editorials coming! Meanwhile, page 1 has given Democrat yuppies the White House Sex Scandals, which have resembled a striptease in many respects. A striptease starring their hero Bill. Bill's dance of the seven veils. Each veil is connected to a corresponding invisible wire. Offstage, Kenneth Starr yanks a wire and off flies another veil. Keep NASDAQ up! Do it for Steve Jobs, Monica! Eventually, Congress posted this filthy show to the internet, put it on public display amongst the other disgusting downloads and flamewars. The bottom line: Women simply must take over the world of high finance. Get the testosterone out. Aristophanes, please answer the white courtesy phone. |