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Coming soon...? More essays from Harry Claude Cat's book-in-progress. Celebrating five years of his usenet posts.
Here's a sneak peak. Sample excerpts.... © 1995 Thomas Armagost The worse they pay, the worse they treat us? Uh-oh. If that's the case, we've got to expect to receive the worst treatment of all, anywhere... Right here. © 1999 Thomas Armagost License Grant. By posting communications on or through Holepoop Online Magazine, you automagically grant The Company [Mack Jingo, Inc.] a royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive license to use, modify, publish, reproduce (sexually, or through artificial or superficial insemination, or through cloning and/or gene-splicing/ tailoring), translate, distribute, perform, gnash, rend, masticate, edit, and/or surgically remove your body parts, display the communication alone or as naughty body parts of other works in any way, shape, form, media, massage, or technology whether now known or hereafter developed in this life or the next life, hereafter to be referred to The Hereafter, and to sublicense such rights through multiple tiers of sublicensees (not a pyramid scheme or Amway). The foregoing grants shall include the right to exploit any proprietary rights in such communication, including but not limited to rights under copyright, trademark, service mark or patent laws under any relevant jurisdiction on this planet, or on any other planet, or in any other dimension or temporality, past, present or future. Amen. © 1997 Thomas Armagost "Tear down the wall that your dysfunctional ego has erected around you, and buy a purple dinosaur plushie. Visa or Mastercard honored." - Vaclau Havel "A truly liberating experience. Order now." - Nelson Mandela "Spend until it hurts for Christmas." - the late Mother Teresa of Calcutta Toy industry sources have made no secret of the fact that Barney the singing dinosaur is washed up. So who would have guessed that the definitive Barney website would be launched this holiday season? Where others saw the discount bin, Debbie Quisling saw a marketing opportunity. Sort of a retro fad for yuppies with a short attention span. Quisling shrewdly realized that she could start generating nostalgic feelings for Barney just a few months after his retirement from show biz. So, after snapping up countless tons of Barney products at cost, she launched her massive Thousand Faces of Barney website. The underground currency of MiscWritingVille. The coin of the realm. 1 Barney = the purchase of one plushie at Quisling's Thousand Faces
of Barney website. 1 Dorkert = 10 Tippers = 100 Barneys. What does one Dorkert buy you in MiscWritingVille? Or 10 Tippers or 100 Barneys, or any combination thereof equaling 100 Barneys? One Dorkert buys you peace of mind. The townsfolk will be nice to you. 1 Dorkert + 10 Tippers + 100 Barneys = the townsfolk will be REALLY NICE to you. |