(with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe)
(c) 1998 by Stephanie Vardavas <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Once upon a furlough dreary, while I labored, weak and weary,
O'er the Federal budgets for the year to come, the year before,
Thinking, "Gingrich needs a slapping," suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the Oval Office door.
"'Tis some young intern," I muttered, "tapping at the Oval Office door-
Only this and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak November;
Government shut down! Workers furloughed! I was lonely, craved succor.
Eagerly I wished for food now; - she entered, and her gaze was lewd, now,
Direct, she looked into my eyes and nibbled pizza, signalled MORE-
Oh, this young and lively intern let me know that I could score-
--------Secret here for evermore?
And the furtive, brazen, long gasp! snapping of her undies' thong straps
Thrilled me-filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to keep the Secret Service at bay, I would peek out, say
"Important papers entreating entrance at the Oval Office door;-
Just some papers entreating entrance at the Oval Office door;-
--------This it is and nothing more."
Presently my need grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I cried, "Monica, truly your tender attentions I implore;
Kiss me THERE, and THERE, and THERE!, and so thoroughly did she fare,
That I almost let her make me spill my seed upon the floor!
But I feared we'd be discovered, here behind th' half-open door,
--------'twas my study, but so much more.
Deep into the abyss peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing
An independent counsel with more pow'r than any one before;
Monica's silence now was broken, Betty Currie gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "suborn?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "suborn!"
--------Great expectations, let us mourn.