SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us = tgdigby@netcom.com http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/ Issue #44 New Moon of August 21, 1998 Contents copyright 1998 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. For more background info, details of how the mailing list works, etc., ask for a copy of issue #Zero. If you email me a reply or comment, please make clear whether or not it's for publication. ********************* Some of you may have noticed that there was no issue last New Moon. That's because I was busy moving. I should be back on track after this, except that because of work SS may sometimes come out on the nearest weekend to New Moon rather than the day of New Moon itself. Another thing I've been thinking of doing is switching to a Mail List format, using something like Majordomo: Set up a list I'd be owner of, and mail each issue to it. People now getting email issues would be subscribed to the list, and would get the zine pretty much as they do now. And I would still post it in my Web area. So not much would change about how people get the zine. The main difference would be that readers could post comments back to the list, perhaps turning it into something like a discussion group, which in turn could be further creative inspiration for me. And I wouldn't feel guilty when someone emails me a comment and I've forgotten about it by the time the next issue comes out. One thing holding this up in the past was uncertainty about the future, what with job-hunting and all. But now that things look like they may be stable for a while, the next problem is to find a server to host the list on. I don't think either the WELL or Netcom currently offers this, although I may be wrong. Anybody out there have any recommendations for a provider? I'm living in San Jose now, so some place close to there might be good. ********************* By the way, my job is at a Mountain View startup called "Silicon Spice" (http://www.silicon-spice.com/) which isn't ready to say anything much about what they're working on. If you're job-hunting in the Bay Area, check the Employment part of their Web page. If they hire you and you mention me, I get a referral bonus. One small problem is that I tend to abbreviate both their name and this zine title "SS", which may sometimes be confusing. But I think you can usually figure it out. ********************* "Management regrets that the renovations to the laundry room have not been completed on schedule. In the meantime we have placed some flat rocks at the edge of the goldfish pond. Please do not use bleach or synthetic detergent, as those are bad for the fish." ********************* The company I work for recently moved to a new facility. Among the things they have there is an engineering lab, with oscilloscopes and soldering irons and all that good stuff. The room originally had wall-to-wall carpeting, but after some deliberation they decided to take that out and put in an anti-static tile floor. While discussing the scheduling of the floor work with the facilities manager I happened to refer to it as "de-rugification". He was sort of amused by my ability to come up with new words like that. So when they started actually ripping up the carpet I put up a sign by the taped-off door, "De-rugification in Progress". One other person asked me if that was a word. I said "It is now." But is it? I'm reminded of grandmother telling me that "Ain't" was not a word. But why wasn't it? It had a fairly standard spelling and pronunciation, and conveyed meaning when you used it in a sentence, but somehow it lacked membership in the set of words. It had all the attributes of a word except wordhood (which also may not be a word). So who decides this kind of thing? And on what basis? ********************* Tighter U.S. Gov't restrictions on cryptographic software will bring a number of benefits to Silicon Valley. Among them are: Affordable housing, uncongested freeways, cleaner air ... ********************* The place I'm in now is an upstairs apartment, shared with a gay male couple (shared rent but not shared sex). One of the few disadvantages is that it has only one bathroom. Being as I am, I immediately thought of adding another bathroom. The first idea was to cantilever it out over the alley, with the entrance cut into the wall of the bedroom on that side. It would be awkward to connect to the sewer pipes from there, but maybe we wouldn't have to. Just have everything drain out through a hole in the floor, and have toilet-flushing trigger a loudspeaker that says "Gardyloo" or whatever they used to shout as a warning to people in the streets below when emptying chamber pots out an upstairs window. Building inspectors might be a problem, but maybe we could keep them away by switching street signs around so they never find the place. Or maybe play the large clumsy bureaucracy against itself, letting each sub-agency think someone else authorized it. Or maybe we could hire actors to be Men In Black and go to City Hall and explain how it's part of a super- secret Federal project or something, like captured UFO stuff, and local authorities should keep their hands off and deny everything if questioned. This morning I noticed a less blatant alternative: The other wall of the bedroom is only a couple of feet from the roof of the neighbor's garage. So if we were to add a second story to the garage, it would perhaps not look as odd as something sticking out over the alley. And it's probably less complicated because some of the supports are already there. We could build it larger, with room for a hot tub and other amenities, not just basic shower and wash-basin and toilet. There's still the drain problem, but maybe we could disguise it as a downspout and bring it out at foot level, not on top of people's heads. But there's still one question: Does the landlord next door come by often enough to be likely to notice the addition? ********************* A counterfeiter in Toon Town decided to print up an "umpty zillion" dollar bill. Since that amount isn't recognized in our numbering system as a definite number, it would be harder to convict him of counterfeiting. Or so he thought. But he didn't anticipate Toon Town judges: He's now serving a sentence of "a long time" in jail. ********************* Someone I know is job-hunting, but doesn't want his present employer to know it. So he doesn't want to be posting resumes on the Internet. I got to wondering what if his present employer does see his resume, and likes it, but his name isn't on it so they don't know it's him? If they call him in for an interview and he goes in disguise, might they hire him again, letting him collect two paychecks? It's a sales engineer job that's mostly working at home plus a lot of travel, so they might never notice that a certain two employees are never seen together. I suspect his performance might suffer, what with trying to fill two slots, and they might notice that aspect and fire at least one of him for poor performance. But if he's really really good he might just pull it off. But he isn't interested. He'd rather not be working there even once. ********************* Mountains! In my youth I wanted to see the world So I joined the Mountains. You may not've heard of us: Some places make a secret of it, Hiring us for a few hours a week In some vacant land on the outskirts of town And the rest of the time Hiding their mountainlessness In fog. But the places I enjoy working are different. Months in advance colorful posters will proclaim "Coming soon -- Limited Time Only -- MOUNTAINS!" And thousands will line the streets For our opening parade. We offer everything: Scenic drives, ski lodges, Railroads slowly winding their way To wherever they are going, Quiet meadows nestled in little valleys Reached only after a day's hiking, Christmas-card scenes of moonlit hillsides (for those places that have moons), Jewels mined by dwarves and polished by elves, And stormy nights when all roads lead only To forbidding Transylvanian castles. But best of all are those few places that, Tired of the sameness of streets and skyline, Invite us right into town, A refreshing transformation of the city, Cable cars and all. Thomas G. Digby written 0150 hr 8/31/74 entered 2350 hr 3/16/92 -- END --