SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/ Issue #63 New Moon of March 5, 2000 Contents copyright 2000 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. If you don't want to read about the mechanics of this, skip down to the row of asterisks (****). 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I do that one manually. ********************* The robins I'd noticed around here a few weeks back are much fewer in number. Were they merely stopping here on their way farther north? Be the robin situation as it may, I'm reminded that the weather in much of California doesn't conform to the popular cultural stereotypes. For example, although it's March it doesn't seem especially windy. There's been some wind, but overall it doesn't seem windier than any other month. So where does the idea of "March winds" come from? And along the California coast we may be starting to come out of the rainy season. So whence "April showers"? The rainiest month around here is usually January or February. Even though it was different where I grew up in Florida, I don't think the annual peak of rain was April even though they did teach us that song about "April Showers" in school. I do recall that in high school we read a little of a poem that started out (in translation from an older version of English): When that April with its showers sweet The drought of March had pierced to the root (from a time when "sweet" and "root" rhymed). So was the idea of "April showers" around even then? And is April in England an especially rainy month, usually preceded by a windy March? If so, it means that as the rainy season winds down we sing of the weather patterns in some place almost half a world away as if they were our own. ********************* At Consonance (a filk convention) someone mentioned Galileo, and in the absence of handy reference books we got to wondering aloud whether he'd made his telescopes himself or someone else had made them for him. That led to the idea that if warning labels had been common back then, the telescopes he used would have been labeled: "WARNING: Looking at stars and planets through this device may get you into trouble with the Inquisition." ********************* As is not uncommon around Silicon Valley, I've often had occasion to come into the office on what are nominally holidays, Presidents' Day being the most recent example. While I was there I noticed that it felt like I was getting more done on the holiday than on a normal workday. I'm not sure why, but I suspect it's partly a relative lack of distractions and interruptions, and partly the feeling that I'm there voluntarily to get stuff done as opposed to being there because I'm supposed to be there. Even if productivity didn't actually increase, that day felt less stressful, perhaps because I wasn't worried about dressing up or arriving on time. That leads me to wonder if having more holidays to come in on would lead to even higher productivity and morale. ********************* At Consonance I came up with a new (unless others have thought of it independently) Blonde Joke: Q. Why did the blonde stay cooped up in her hotel room for the entire convention? A. Someone had left the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign hanging on the inside doorknob. ********************* The Super Tuesday primaries are over, and I have no convention delegates. That's as it should be, since I wasn't planning on running for President anyway. But since the major party conventions are still months away and even though the nominations are in theory pretty much decided surprising things can still happen, perhaps I'd better reprint my earlier statement of why I'm not running: Random topic drift brought the conversation in another dinner group around to me running for President. I don't plan to, especially not in 2000 with the Zero Year jinx, but what if I did? Would my piercings become a campaign issue? Would the opposition spend millions of dollars explaining to the most easily shocked voters what a Prince Albert piercing is, and hinting that were I to become President they would be the Latest Style and everybody would sort of have to get all sorts of strange piercings whether they wanted to or not, because of forces like workplace peer pressure? "His doctor says he doesn't have any nipple or genital piercings. What is he, a spy or something?" And I would have to wear a suit and tie much of the time. And even when I could take the tie off, they'd probably expect me to wear long pants even when it's warm. And they'd want me to wear clothes all day, even when I'm just sort of relaxing around the White House. And I probably wouldn't get to play around in the military's big computers even if I was Commander in Chief. And the politics of being President of a superpower would often require me to make decisions to hurt people. We're talking big-time hurt here. Maybe even taking people who would rather be doing something else and making them shoot other people they don't even know with real bullets. So all in all, I don't think I'll run for President. ********************* And speaking of the Zero Year jinx, someone in LASFS (Phil Castora? Ted Johnstone?) back around 1968 made an astrology-based prediction about upcoming Presidents: The curse (or whatever, of Presidents elected in years ending in 0 dying in office) would skip whoever got elected in 1980, strike once more for whoever gets elected in 2000, and then vanish. So far it's held up. Reagan didn't die in office, although he may have come close. The 2000 elections are coming up. Whoever gets elected in November is supposed to be the last victim. But even if the curse does strike again, it could come late in the second term, so we may have to wait almost nine years to find out. ********************* This being Silicon Soapware issue number 63, almost a power of two, reminds me that in grade school I was taught addition, and multiplication tables up to 12 times 12, and long division, and so on, but nothing especially relevant to computers. Now I'm wondering whether that's been updated for the Computer Age. For example, were I in charge I would also teach multiplication times 16, even if I didn't teach multiplication times 13 or 14 or 15. And I would have students memorize powers of two up to maybe the sixteenth (65,536), plus selected ones above that (such as the twentieth = 1,048,576 and thirtieth = 1,073,741,824). And don't forget at least some minimal ability to work in other number bases, at least binary and octal and hexadecimal. Even if you never get very deeply into how computers work, this will at least help you understand what those who do are talking about. Does anyone here know what kind of arithmetic elementary schools are teaching nowadays? ********************* I notice that the box my TV came in is labeled with two different screen sizes: One for the US and Canada, and another, slightly larger, for elsewhere. That led to thoughts of taking it back and forth across the Mexican border while measuring it to see if it actually changes. It probably won't grow or shrink. It's probably just a difference in Truth In Labeling laws. But it's still fun to think about. ********************* I was reminded at Consonance that one of the Bay Area filkers is also a traffic reporter for one of the local radio stations. That reminded me of this, which was originally written in Los Angeles although you can adapt it to any other major urban area by changing the street and freeway names: The Poetry Market [sound of radio being turned on] ... and there is a severe writer's block On the northbound Pasadena Freeway at Avenue 43. As an alternate we recommend Figueroa Street, Where inspiration is flowing smoothly. Next traffic report in ten minutes on Station K-P-O-E-T, And now it's time for the market report: Trading was mixed on the New York Poetry Exchange, With limericks and sonnets closing sharply higher On rumors of some poets running out of rhyme. Sestina contracts held steady, While blank verse plunged to a new low. Meanwhile in Tokyo, September haiku gained slightly With most other verse forms closing unchanged. And in the over-the-counter market Greeting-card verse rallied, Ending its seasonal decline. Stay tuned to K-P-O-E-T for all the latest poetry reports. [sound of radio being turned off] Thomas G. Digby written 1735 hr 11-14-90 entered 2020 hr 10-20-91 revised 1535 hr 10-23-91 -- END --