>********************************* >Mark, > >I am writing you because I left a message but did not hear back. I >understand from Gail Berman that you were upset about me not calling you to >ask if Topher could do our show. Since Fox executives were talking to >Topher about it I thought it was cool with you. Also, since I hadn't >written it yet, I wasn't at the point of asking if it was possible to have >him do it. I would have called your show then. I mentioned the names of >several people who were interested in doing cameos on our show to the >Variety guy. They decided to only mention Topher. Maybe I shouldn't have >mentioned it. I didn't realize it would create a problem. I never wished >to offend you. If there is some protocol to people on Fox doing guest shots >on other Fox shows, I didn't know what it was. Regardless, I'm sorry that >this resulted in such a mess. If you are mad at me about this or something >else from our past, please tell me. I only remember us having fun in the >early nineties and it troubles me that it seems like you have a beef with >me. >Best regards, >Judd Apatow >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- >Judd, > >Yeah, we were friends in the early nineties. And if you don't recall what >happened, I'll remind you. I had a pilot at MTV called "Yard Dogs" about a >rock band living in Hollywood. I told you about it and you proceeded to >completely rip it off, storyline and all, for the Ben Stiller show. You >called it "Grungies." MTV and UTA were working on an overall deal (MTV's >idea) with me, based on that pilot. When it turned up on your show >everything went away overnight. I had just had my son Jack and I had no >job, no money, nothing. There's a saying, "I forgive but I don't forget. >And I don't forgive." So, now you know. Although I kind of think that you >already did. >-Mark > >------------------------------------------------------------ > >Mark, >I truly don't remember anything you are talking about. Jeff Kahn wrote The >Grungies sketch, a parody where we did Seattle bands as The Monkey's. I >don't remember you ever calling me after that saying you were mad. Ben and >I would get fifty sketches a week from the writers and then we'd pick the >one's that we thought were funny. I never connected the two. Even now they >don't seem similar. Ours was a goofy over the top parody, not a situation >comedy about musicians in LA. Nobody watched our show so I don't see how >that could be the reason your pilot died. That sketch aired once up against >60 Minutes, so it didn't have any impact in town. I am sorry you are upset. >I am not a thief of ideas. I'm sorry you believe differently. >Judd Apatow > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- >Judd, >The show I wrote was also over the top and it let down the fourth wall. >Since it's registered at the WGA, you could compare the two. And as an Exec >Producer, we both know you have input into every sketch. As for no one >seeing the show everyone knows everything in Hollywood. There are no >secrets. Personally, I feel you've made a career out of being a sycophant to >Carrey or Shandling or Roseanne and when you weren't kissing ass, you were >stealing from lesser known comics or leeching off other people's ideas >(Celtic Pride, Cable Guy). I noticed how outraged you were to not get a >writing credit on Cable Guy until it came out and was panned. You dropped >that cause like the showbiz weasel you are. You may not think you're a thief >but most comics know otherwise. And again, you know that too. Have you ever >read "What Makes Sammy Run"? I think you'd like it. Get cancer. >Love, >Mark >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >------------------------------- >Mark, >Come on, we all wrote for comics at the beginning of our careers. I wrote >for Roseanne, you wrote for Dennis Miller. If that makes me a sycophant, >then I guess I am. And so are the writers for Caesar's Hour. I dropped my >Cable Guy law suit not because the film got bad reviews, but because I spent >eighty grand on it and my lawyer told me I was going to lose. You would be >upset if you re-wrote the vast majority of a script and received no credit. >I wish you had called me about this years ago. I'm sure we could have >worked it out. Try not to be so angry. Not everyone is as bad as you >think. You should call Jeff Kahn and ask him how that sketch originated. >If it turned out that I didn't steal your idea would you still want me to >get cancer? I swear to God that I didn't know you were mad about this. >Until six weeks ago I was still referring to you as an old friend. Maybe >one day I'll be able to say that again. >Judd Apatow >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- > >Mark, > It's come to my attention that you are upset with Judd Apatow about the >sketch, "The Grungies." I completely understand why you would have been >pissed off about seeing something similar to what you were working on at the >time. However, the idea for, "The Grungies," and all the initial writing >and rewriting came from me. I also cast it, acted in it and edited it. I >was and still am influenced by pop music and I thought it would be funny to >satirize the seriousness of the Seattle grunge music scene with the >ridiculous superficiality of "The Monkees" 1960s show. I hope that this >clears up any misunderstanding. >By the way, I am a huge fan of "That 70's Show." Congratulations on its >well deserved success. I also think it's cool you set it in Wisconsin. I >went to the University of Wisconsin at Madison and loved it. >If you have any other questions don't hesitate to E-mail me. >Jeff Kahn > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- > >----------------- > > >Mark, >I have no interest in talking with you on the phone any more. I know you >are very successful and think that gives you the right to judge people and >berate them regardless of the facts, but I have had enough of you for one >day. I know it's hard to believe that your rock band TV idea, which every >writer in this town has thought of at one point, was not on my mind half a >year after you told it to me. Yes, you thought of breaking the fourth wall. >Groucho and George Burns stole it from you. Maybe you should sue Bernie >Mac. Why don't you sue the guys who have that new show "How To Be A Rock >Star" on the WB. I must have told them your idea. Nobody has ever goofed >on rock bands, not Spinal Tap or The Rutles or 800 Saturday Night Live >sketches. I should have told everyone on the show, no rock band sketches, >that's Brazil's area. So hold on to your hate and rage, even though it >makes no sense. I'll go back to my life of thievery and leaching. As for >the cancer, I'll wait till you get it and then steal it from you. By the >way, that joke was one of my writer's, Rodney Rothman (see I credited him). >See, I have no original thoughts. Sorry I bothered to figure this out. >Judd >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- >Judd >How appropriate that you had to use someone else's joke to take a swipe at >me. I told you my idea. You did it two weeks later, VERBATIM. Spew >revisionist shit all you want. Everyone knows you're a hack. Also, everyone >knows how you fucked over Paul Feig on the new show. All your press mentions >"your" brilliant Freaks and Geeks, as if Feig didn't even do the series. It >must have killed you when the true genius behind it got nominated for an >Emmy. Is your wife still livid about someone in the neighborhood building a >house just like hers? Tell her I know how she feels. The reason I called >was to tell you to piss off. We'll never be "friends", regardless of the >pussy whining from your last e-mail. I respect you zero. >See ya at the upfronts, bitch! >Well...unless you get canceled before that. >Until then, die in a fiery accident and taste your own blood. >(Is that too angry?) >Love, Brazill > > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >-------------------------------- >Mark, > >I hope your anger is a joke, because if it isn't...wow. Here's a line by >line reply. I have starred (*) the replies if you are confused by my >format. > >How appropriate that you had to use someone else's joke to take a swipe at >me. > >***That was the joke. How interesting that you couldn't understand that. >You would think someone with the lineage of "Yard Dogs" would have the >intellectual acumen to pick up on that. I feel for the writers that have to >pitch to you. Never doubt how much they hate you. > >I told you my idea. You did it two weeks later, VERBATIM. Spew >revisionist shit all you want. > >***How could I hear your idea, steal it, and then have it air two weeks >later? It was a filmed sketch show . Sketches were written months before >they aired. They were filmed six weeks before they aired. I thought you >were a producer. Shouldn't you understand how these shows are made? Do you >start writing episodes two weeks before they air? Maybe you stole "Yard >Dogs" from me. > >Everyone knows you're a hack. > >***That's why I kiss the ass. Let me know who thinks I am a hack so I can >kiss their ass as well. I also suck dick lately. That's how I got my >Dreamworks deal. > >Also, everyone >knows how you fucked over Paul Feig on the new show. All your press mentions >"your" brilliant Freaks and Geeks, as if Feig didn't even do the series. It >must have killed you when the true genius behind it got nominated for an >Emmy. > >***I'm sure it's hard for you to believe, but I do not control the national >media. That is only true in your paranoid mind. If I create a show they >often mention the last show. If you create a new show by yourself, I doubt >they will spend a lot of time talking about the Turners. When they write >about "That 80's Show" I am sure they won't ever mention "That 70's Show." >I wrote an entire article in the LA Times, a cover story in the calendar, >that credited Paul for his work. He went from a struggling actor to an >established writer/producer over the course of a year. He is still my >friend and I am very happy that he was nominated for two Emmy's. He >deserved it. I wasn't upset about his Emmy nominations, I already have >enough. The certificates are so big you can only hang so many before it >starts looking tacky. > > >Is your wife still livid about someone in the neighborhood building a >house just like hers? > >*** Yes. > >Tell her I know how she feels. > >***I'm on it. > >The reason I called >was to tell you to piss off. We'll never be "friends," regardless of the >pussy whining from your last e-mail. > >***The funniest part of these e mails is how bad your sense of humor is. >You neither get nor can tell a joke. After you said "get cancer" did you >really think I was looking to heal our relationship? Usually the cancer >insult is a closer. I'm sure everyone who has suffered with that >appreciates your sharp wit. > >I respect you zero. > >***Oh no. > >See ya at the upfronts, bitch! >Well...unless you get canceled before that. > >***If you think cancellation hurts me at this point, you haven't been >following my career as closely as I thought. I guess you are too busy >tracking my real estate problems. > >Until then, die in a fiery accident and taste your own blood. > >***That's a Sam Kinison line you stupid fuck!!!! Hypocrite!!!! >J'accuse!!!! > >(Is that too angry?) >Love, Brazill > > >***Mark, I have enjoyed this. It's good to see the tragedies of the past >few months haven't watered down your passion. I guess if Mark Brazill >doesn't go insane over stuff that makes no sense, the terrorists win. >Good luck with "That 80's Show." And I look forward to "That 90's Show." > >Judd Apatow > >