It was recently revealed that the American version of the LOTR movies will
be different.  The producers decided to go with familiar faces for the cast,
and also determined that the American public would have some difficulty with
the title, so have changed it for the domestic audience.  Fearing that
American viewers would have difficulty with the term 'lord', which they
might interpret as either referring to the British imperialism from which
they rebelled, or might be offended by a suspected blasphemy, the producers
first decided to change the movie title to "President of the Rings".  Not
wanting to have people confuse Mordor with America (which has been happening
all too often recently) they then changed to "Chairman of the Rings" on the
assumption that the people would be able to understand the egalitarian
concepts involved; but finally had to shorten the title to "Chair of the
Rings" for political-correctness reasons.  Similarly, the word "fellowship"
was deemed too difficult for American viewers, so the ultimate title became

Chair of the Rings, Part I:  Team Ring!

THE CAST

Frodo Baggins:	Mickey Mouse
Sam Gamgee:		Pluto
Gandalf:		Bob Hoskins
Gollum:		Jar-Jar Binks
Merry:		William H. Macy
Pippin:		Chris Tucker
Arwen Evenstar:	Drew Barrymore
Elrond:		Jet Lee
Boromir:		Chuck Norris
Aragorn:		George Clooney
Bilbo Baggins:	Mel Brooks
Tom Bombadil:	Tom Waits
Saruman the Wise:	Mickey Rourke
and introducing as Galadrial:	Martha Stewart

With lyrics by Tim Rice.  Directed by Steven Spielberg and produced by Jerry
Bruckheimer.

-- Karl Schroeder
http://www.kschroeder.com