YOUR PLAUSIBLE HEADLINES:

• ASHCROFT SEEKS TO UTILIZE "DIVINE INTELLIGENCE"
  
  
• HELMS APOLOGIZES FOR ENTIRE CAREER
  
  
• BUSH TO AMERICANS:
  "GET AFFAIRS IN ORDER"
  
  
• TOWN BRINGS NEW MEANING TO "HOUSE ARREST"
  
  
• NORTHERNER SAYS CONFEDERACY WON
  
  
• CLOWN NOSES TO BE BANNED
  
  
• LOTTERY PROPOSED TO FUND WAR EFFORT
  
  
• MILITARY TO USE SONY ROBOPET TECHNOLOGY
  
  
• CLOTHESLINES POSE HEALTH THREAT, CPSC SAYS
  
  
• EMERGENCY MEDICINE CABINETS TO BE INSTALLED
  
  
• HINDU KUSH DECLARED PERMANENT WAR ZONE
  
  
• SANTA BLOCKED FROM RAMALLAH
  
  
• MISCELLANEOUS PLAUSIBILITIES

OTHER PLAUSIBLE SOURCES