FIELD BULLETIN
To: All Junior and Intermediate Tempters, North American division
From: Screwdisk, Associate Senior Tempter, North America
RE: The OJ decision
There has been some concern expressed by those of you in the field regarding the quickness of the OJ verdict. It is true that we could have caused the deliberations to be dragged out as long as we wished. (There was, in fact, some talk in the Lower Council of inciting at least one of the jurors, stressed as they have been, to attempt homicide in the jury room itself--but this idea was discarded as too theatrical.) But do not be concerned. Remember that those of us in the Lowermost Reaches of Administration have thought these things through, long and hard. Consider the extraordinary efforts that have gone into creating the current climate of fear and mistrust among races, classes, and sexes in the United States, efforts that have had their apotheosis (if you will excuse the word) in the cultural appendages to the OJ Simpson trial. Many of you have had exhilarating successes in undermining the moral certainty or compassionate nature of your subjects during this campaign, and we realized that a drawn-out period of deliberation would have the effect of dissipating the momentum that we have accumulated.
We have also arranged things so that the actual verdict would not matter--whether he was found guilty or innocent, we would be able to profit by the results. Now, those of you whose subjects have succumbed to some variety of the Racism virus can accelerate the deleterious effects of that affliction--constantly remind the white ones, for example, that OJ "was acquitted by a black jury," and remind the black ones that "a white jury would surely have convicted him." (Had it gone the other way, of course, you would have been instructed to remind the white ones "See? There's no such thing as a good black," and the black ones "See? You'll never get justice from the white system." How easy it is!) The class-jealous should be reminded of OJ's wealth; the owning-class should be reminded of the tawdry tastelessness of the whole affair and the need to keep "those people" in their proper place. Similar sets of actions can be utilized to take advantage of gender-based resentments around the case as well. You know your subjects best, and you will easily see which of the various "hot buttons" we have made available to you will best further your goals.
So continue to exacerbate the hurt feelings of your subjects, whatever their predispositions. Feed those longings for revenge, that suspicion and mistrust, that self-righteous posturing that renders these creatures so vulnerable to us. And remember, above all, to keep such concepts as "compassion" and "forgiveness" (especially forgiveness!) completely out of their minds. Rest assured that we will be during our best Down Here to make that easy for you.
Diabolically yours,
Screwdisk