Subject: writer's block
My dear Scumbucket,
Oh yes, the creative ones can be the hardest. Unpredictable, likely to see through our stratagems, very very difficult to manage. For this reason, we try to minimze their numbers -- but somehow or another, despite our best efforts to date, that pernicious spark still manages to peep out in the most unlikely circumstances.
But there are ways to deal with them. For example -- you may not be able to control the occurence of creativity, but you can help to ensure that it never amounts to anything. I find the following scenario handy: say your subject is taking a long drive. His mind wanders, as it will, and the Enemy may sneak in the occasional seed of an idea that, if followed up on, could be detrimental to our purposes -- say, an essay, a poem, a song, or some way to address a problem in his life. If you can't stop the creative process at this point by misdirection or distraction, or by bringing up an unpleasant memory or an unrelated fantasy, go ahead and let the process go. He could compose the whole thing, play out the whole scenario, right there in his car -- just be sure that he hasn't brought a pencil along, or that he doesn't remember where it is.
Then, when he reeemerges from his reverie into everyday life, let the normal hubbub that we have built into the environment work for you. Keep him hopping from one crisis to the other, and every once in a while let him remember this much -- that he has something *really important* to attend to, if only he could rid himself of these constant annoyances and get himself together. Cultivate the resentment that will follow naturally, that he is not being allowed to pursue his Muse, or have the time he needs to himslef to do this really good thing (whatever it was) that he had had in mind.. He may even be provoked to alienating friends and family, just to try and get a few moments for himself so that he can recapture that germ of an idea, get himslef organized. We will not let him steal the time from his workplace (be sure that workplace pressures, and the manager's surveillance, increase at times like this), so it must be stolen from either his family or the Enemy. Let him, perhaps, decide that instead of going to church some Sunday morning, he will try to worship via the creative process or somesuch nonsense. Then, once he has pulled away from everything, and has himself all ready -- *then* shut the door.
At this point, despair in only a few simple steps away. More on this another time.
As ever,
Screwdisk