*Signs of Life*
    
Sign on an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.
Sign at a radiator repair shop:  Best place in town to take a leak.
Maternity Clothes Shop:  Open on labor day.
Non-smoking area:  If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire
    and take appropriate action.
On Maternity Ward Door:  "Push, Push, Push." 
On a Front Door:  Everyone here is a vegetarian - except the dog. 
Optometrist's Office:  If you don't see what you're looking for, you've 
    come to the right place.
Scientist's Door:  Gone Fission.
Taxidermist Window:  We really know our stuff. 
Used Car Lot:  Second-hand cars in first-crash condition. 
"Keep Out" Sign on Fence:  "Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive." 
Car Dealership:  The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment. 
Muffler Shop:  No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming. 
Hotel:  Help!  We need inn-experienced people. 
Butcher's Window:  Pleased to meat you! 
Auto Body Shop:  May we have the next dents? 
Dry Cleaners:  Drop your pants here. 
Veterinarians' Waiting Room:  Back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay! 
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin" 
At the Electric Company:  "We would be delighted if you send in your
    bill.   However, if you don't, you will be."
Beauty Shop:  Dye now!
Garbage Truck:  We've got what it takes to take what you've got. 
Computer Store:  "Out for a quick byte." 
Music Library:  Bach in a minuet.
Funeral Home:  Drive carefully, we'll wait.