SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us = tgdigby@netcom.com http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/ Issue #40 New Moon of March 27, 1998 Contents copyright 1998 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. For more background info, details of how the mailing list works, etc., ask for a copy of issue #Zero. If you email me a reply or comment, please make clear whether or not it's for publication. ********************* There's an item in "News of the Weird" about an ex-convict in Ohio who believes officials are beaming people down to harass him every time he tries to enter a courthouse. So he's suing for "Wallydraggle, Mummery Feg Wimple Soupcon-type relief". The article didn't say whether the court granted his request, but I rather suspect it didn't. From what little I know of legal stuff, "Wallydraggle, Mummery Feg Wimple Soupcon-type relief" doesn't sound like a plausible name for anything in our legal system. And its inclusion in "News of the Weird" seems to indicate that people are expected to think it's funny. Therefore I feel fairly confident that Wallydraggle, Mummery Feg Wimple Soupcon-type relief does not exist in this timeline. If Wallydraggle, Mummery Feg Wimple Soupcon-type relief isn't from this timeline, then it has to be from some other one. Perhaps a law book from that other timeline fell through some kind of trans-dimensional warp and landed where our unfortunate Ohio ex-con would find it. He studied it diligently, but alas, to no avail. Judges in this timeline aren't generally taught the laws of other timelines, so the petition was probably just laughed out of court as the ravings of a lunatic. So does this mean that Ohio officials will continue to beam down security people to harass our unfortunate ex-con every time he tries to enter a courthouse? No, because they've never been doing it in the first place. He just thinks that because he's crazy. ********************* A few weeks ago I had occasion to wander though a park in an area I don't normally frequent. At one point they were clearing debris and plant growth out of a flood channel in anticipation of the next big rainy spell. There were two backhoe-type things but with longer booms. Each would reach down into the water, come up with a scoop full of mud, then pivot around and dump the mud on the ground behind it. It seemed oddly graceful, and made me think of giant water birds feeding. The machines were painted red, sort of like flamingos but more orange-red than pink, and I think that added to the impression. I wished I'd had a movie camera with me. It would have been something to set to music for a mechanical ballet. ********************* He's as out of place as a vampire in Gilroy. (Note to non-Bay-Area people: Gilroy is a nearby town known as a center for garlic production.) ********************* Elections are coming up in a couple of months, and political campaigning is starting to get into the news. This reminds me of a discussion with someone who is on a quest to find the perfect group decision system, or something as close to it as possible. The decision-maker, be it person, machine, or abstract procedure, needs a model of the group by which the effects of the decision may be predicted. And since the actual effects on the group may not be as anticipated, you need some form of feedback mechanism so that the decision-maker can take into account the effects of past decisions when making new decisions. In our society much of this anticipation and feedback is done by individual members of the group. Each individual has a personal internal model of how the decision seems likely to affect them and the rest of the group. These individuals then express their assessment of the situation in terms of preferences for some alternative decisions over others. In many cases there is no other decision-maker: The individuals handle the entire decision-making process. We call one formalized version of this process "voting". And in our society it's almost sacred. But voting is only one way to handle a decision. Another is debating to consensus. Sit around and talk about it until everybody agrees. That usually works for juries and tribes, but breaks down in larger groups. Other decision-making methods don't give individuals any explicit voice at all. There are many tales of good and wise kings. In these kingdoms individuals did not get to vote at all, but seemed reasonably satisfied with their lot. This may be because there were workable anticipation and feedback mechanisms operating, even though they were not formalized. Word would reach the king, through various formal and informal channels, that people were happy or unhappy about something or other, and the king would take that into account in future decisions. Although not every decision would please everybody, most people were satisfied most of the time. This is the so-called "benevolent dictator" model. An extreme example of the benevolent dictator is the God of the major monotheistic faiths. These faiths believe that God can do a better job of deciding than any individual or group. Even if a decision appears to be wrong, there may be hidden factors that individuals are not aware of that make it the best possible decision under the circumstances. Since God sees and knows everything, opinion polls and the like are not necessary. Another dictatorial model is the military unit. There factors other than the desires or welfare of the group are paramount. In many cases this is accepted by the group members because they believe in some higher purpose beyond the group, such as the greater good of their country. In other cases the group members don't willingly accept their lot, but are bound by force, fear, or coercion. This is the realm of the evil dictator, the slave owner, and the jailer. Sometimes the best decision is to not decide as a group at all. Instead of voting on whether or not to pay for pizza from the club treasury, pass the hat and let those who want pizza contribute while others stand aside. Another alternative is "voting with your feet". If a club is torn by dissension about whether to allow smoking at meetings, maybe it should split into two clubs, one smoking and the other non-smoking. There are many other possibilities, most of which I probably won't think of because I've grown up in this society and have thus been taught not to think of them. ********************* What if a drill sergeant yells "About Face!" to a shape-shifter, who then turns his head around backwards without moving the rest of his body, or maybe even just morphs his head to put the face on the other side without actually turning anything? That might well annoy the drill sergeant, and possibly freak him out if he wasn't expecting it. What would the rest of the people in the formation think, especially if they weren't shape-shifters? And what if the shape-shifter had been thinking too much about the Roman god Janus, and had faces on both sides of the head? Might the drill sergeant think nothing had happened if he didn't see the head in the act of turning? If the rest of the body is also symmetrical, then would it matter at all? If the legs bend for walking either way and there are two faces on the head and two sets of toes on the feet, the command "About Face" seems kind of redundant. Might as well forget about it. One less thing to learn in military drill. Make life easier for soldiers. ********************* A friend's child has one of those Virtual Pet things, and it's been annoying people by beeping for attention. So I got to thinking about a robot sitter for it. Have a digital camera to watch the screen, and pattern-recognition software to figure out what it wants, and some kind of little robot arm to push the right buttons. There are probably people who would buy it for the absurdity of it, even if it cost a couple of grand. Even if it's not really a viable product, it's fun to think about. ********************* A friend of a friend was showing me a dagger. He evidently considered it something sacred, referring to it as if it were a living companion. But to me it just looked like a letter opener. That got me to wondering about a magical letter opener that could read the thoughts behind the words in any letter it opened. That would be useful. Even if we can't have such a thing in real life, there's always role-playing games. ********************* Incident Along Fantasy Way Idea Crisis Things are quiet tonight -- Too quiet. There is a severe inspiration shortage. Downtown is silent and dark, With rolls of sidewalk stacked in the parking lots. Store windows are empty And none of the signs say anything. I try making noise But the echoes are only echoes. Two people are conversing on a street corner: "Hey, what's happenin', man?" "Nothin'. What's happenin' with you?" "Nothin'. What's happenin' with you?" "Nothin'." Back and forth endlessly. Most of the newsracks on the next corner are empty. A couple have blank papers And one headlines "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" Over a full-page picture Of a Smile Face. My favorite DJ is on the radio Announcing that his station will be playing elevator music Until further notice. Finally I conjure up a press card And inquire at a police station. The desk sergeant looks up from his crossword puzzle And says that the last several days have passed "Without incident." So it looks like I have nothing to write about This time. Thomas G. Digby written 2315 hr 8/16/74 entered 1645 hr 2/27/92 -- END --