Plergb Bylaws Summary

Background

Uses of the word Plergb

• The simplest use of the word Plergb is as a general-purpose noun, sort of like "doohickey" and "thingamabob". It may be dynamically redefined within a sentence if the context makes the meaning clear, as in the old saying "A rolling Plergb gathers no Plergb". It can also be used as a euphemism, as in "What the Plergb is this Plergb?!?!" The use of the word Plergb to maliciously hinder communication is strongly discouraged.

• Another simple use is to bring good luck by saying "Plergb" as you are plugging something in. The Commission makes no warranty covering such use.

• Whenever the word Plergb is used in a song, it may be defined as the entire remainder of the song. For example, singing "Oh, say can you see by the Plergb?" lets you start the ball game that much sooner. When used in a song on radio or TV it may be defined as the rest of the broadcast day, allowing the staff to shut off the transmitter and go home without further ado or explanation (CAUTION: Some advertisers consider this to be bad manners, especially if their commercials are affected).

• The most sophisticated use of the word Plergb, however, is as an operator. Computer people may think of it as a sort of macro to be executed by one's audience. For example, if you are composing something on a manual typewriter but wish to have a professional- appearing document, you may add at the bottom "Plergb, defined as justifying margins, correcting typos, and general cleanup". It can also be defined as minus something you wish to cancel. For example, if you are running for office you might end all your speeches with "Plergb, defined as minus anything you didn't want to hear". The word Plergb can also be used to correct hyphenation at ends of lines, clean up politically incorrect language, cleanse erotica of anything the authorities might consider obscene, conditionally insert or delete paragraphs depending on the state of other variables, insert illustrations or other special effects the your Web software cannot handle, and so on.

Users of the word Plergb

Users of the word Plergb fall into three general classes: Authorized users, Renegades, and Yak Fat.

• Authorized users are those who have been authorized by the Commission to use the word Plergb and who agree to be bound by the rules thereof.

• Renegades are those who have been granted Renegade Status by the Commission. They may break the rules and otherwise misuse the word Plergb with impunity, but their actions do not set precedent. People who have heard of the word Plergb and wish to use it, but who are unsure of the rules and find it inconvenient to contact the Commission, may grant themselves provisional Renegade Status.

• The standard penalty for misuse of the word Plergb (by those not on Renegade Status) is dunking in rancid yak fat. Since the budget of the Commission does not allow for real yak fat or a yak fat vat to dunk people in they have been doing virtual dunkings instead. This consists of a certificate attesting to such dunking and advising all to stay at least ten feet (three meters) away because of the (virtual) smell.

Orthography of the word Plergb

Authorized variants of the word Plergb include Pglergb, Plergdb, Pglorgdb, and Skeegl. There also exists the Medieval Spelling of Plyrrhghb for use by time travelers, people doing parodies of medieval writing, etc. All variants are pronounced exactly as they are spelled (no silent letters) except for the Medieval Spelling, which is pronounced "Pl" as in "platypus", "yrrh" as in "myrrh", "gh" as in "ghost", and "b" as in "Bob".

Miscellaneous

Plergb Commission Anthem

     We are the stalwart people of the Plergb Commission:
     We uphold the honor of the word Plergb all day long.
     And when we're not busy on our glorious mission
     We just sit around and sing this stupid song.  

Official Question

Alcohol and other Drugs

Diminished capacity due to drunkenness or other forms of intoxication is generally not a defense in cases of misuse of the word Plergb. If you plan to use the word Plergb while under the influence, the safest course is to have Renegade Status.

Legal Disclaimer

Document Cleanup

Plergb, defined as minus any line noise or other technical problems with this document.

About the Author

This page was created by Tom Digby and is copyrighted with a fairly liberal "fair use" policy.

Email = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us

Home Page = http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/