SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/ Issue #46 New Moon of October 20, 1998 Contents copyright 1998 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. For more background info, details of how the mailing list works, etc., see below. ********************* I'm in the process of going over to an automated mailing list. The main difference you should see is that if you have comments you want published, simply send them to the list (DigbyZine@lists.best.com) from the address you're subscribed at and they'll be posted automatically. If you have something for my eyes only that you don't want published, you can still send it to my WELL address (bubbles@well.com) or to the list owner at DigbyZine-owner@lists.best.com. If you have special needs, like wanting to receive things at one address but post from another, send that request to the list owner also. I'm hoping enough people take advantage of the Reply function that we get an apa-like discussion thing going here. To subscribe or unsubscribe send to DigbyZine-request@lists.best.com with the relevant word in the body, but nothing else (except maybe your signature if that's automatic). Then when you get a confirmation message edit the REJECT in the subject to ACCEPT and send it back. At least I hope that's how it'll work. Since this is a new list and computers are involved along with humans, there are no guarantees. ********************* Another interesting thing about this provider is that they allow CGI and such in user's Web pages. I may have some fun with that later on. ********************* I recently encountered someone whose ID on their server was "skitten". That reminded me of how the word "Scat!" is commonly used when you want to shoo away cats, and how I once wondered whether "Skitten!" would work similarly to banish kittens. And what about other animals? Could you shoo away cows by shouting "Scow!" at them? Attempts to generalize to other species run into ambiguities. There are two possible underlying rules, and each has problems. If you try to shoo away a dog by sticking "S" on the front of the species name, you get "Sdog!" which is hard for speakers of English to pronounce. If, on the other hand, you take the rule as being to change the initial consonant (or consonant cluster) to "sc", it becomes unclear as to whether you're banishing a dog, a hog, a frog, or fog. Maybe it only works on species for which both rules are equivalent, which means basically things whose names start with a "k" sound. In that case you could use it to repel coyotes or canaries or creditors, but not hawks or snakes or octopi. So that's why you don't see people, even those with phobias about things with tentacles, running away from the beach shouting "Scoctopus!" over and over again. ********************* A few weeks ago the average home mortgage interest rate was right at 6.66%. Perhaps the Devil was refinancing Hell? ********************* I was walking home from McDonald's when someone from a nearby building tried to bum a cigarette. When I told her I didn't smoke her response was, "Just look at you! You have a NOSE RING!! How can you have a NOSE RING and not smoke?!?" I tried to tell her it was easy, but she wasn't having any. If you have a nose ring, you smoke, period. Or so she says. I don't recall any such rule, but then I've only dealt with piercers in the L.A. area, not here in Silicon Valley, so maybe it varies locally. Also, I did the nose pierce myself so there weren't any piercers involved to tell me about any rules regarding facial piercings and smoking. But rules or no rules, I have no plans to take up smoking. ********************* I recall that for years, one stereotype of an engineer was a shirt pocket full of pens. You'd use different colors for writing something, or for making changes to what you or someone else had written, or for making changes to the changes, or whatever. And you might want a choice of fine point or broad point in some of the colors. Whatever the details, you would have a pocket full of pens, and that would sort of define you as a techno-nerd. And when computers came along, the same stereotype applied to programmers. But now I've noticed that quite a few people at my present job carry no pens at all. Many don't even have shirt pockets. Now for years I've heard that computers will eventually bring us the paperless office. They haven't succeeded yet. But as a step in that direction are they bringing us the penless nerd? ********************* I was walking around near work and came upon some construction where Ellis St. goes under the 101 freeway. They're extending the Santa Clara Valley light rail, or whatever its official title is, and they had to redo a retaining wall or something to make room for the tracks alongside the existing road under the freeway. One thing that caught my attention was a row of square holes in the new wall, about two dozen of them, all the way from one side of the freeway embankment to the other, right next to the tracks. Each hole was maybe a foot or two across at about chest height. I suspect they were for drilling sideways into the dirt to add reinforcing stuff for the retaining wall, or something like that, but what they reminded me of was gun ports on old sailing ships. They might be a little small, but what with modern explosives and such you don't need a large bore to have effective weaponry. And the smaller hole makes you less vulnerable to return fire. Why gun ports under a freeway overpass? What with the current world political situation you never know who we'll be fighting next year (or even next month or next week). And once you have a track leading off into the distance, you never know what might be connected to it off around the next bend where you can't see it. So there's a chance that, sometime when we least expect it, an Enemy Trolley might come cruising along. And if it gets past the freeway, it'll be almost literally in Netscape's back yard. If the enemy (whoever that might be) takes Netscape, then we could be back to text-only Web browsing with the likes of Lynx, or, worse yet, helpless before Microsoft's plans for world domination. Thus they put in the gun ports. So now when an Enemy Trolley rolls past, slowly because of the curves just before and after the freeway, KA-BLAM! It will be met with a 24-gun broadside at point-blank range. So Silicon Valley can rest easy. Light Rail is well defended. ********************* In olden days many of the functions now performed by a telephone answering machine were done by the butler. He would answer the door, ascertain the identity of the caller, take messages if the person being sought wasn't home, and so on. And he generally implemented Call Screening and Anonymous Call Rejection, in that anybody who demanded to see the master of the house but refused to divulge their name wouldn't get very far. One big difference: In almost no murder mysteries does it turn out that the answering machine did it. ********************* To be a Star There he was on stage In a small cafe Before a couple dozen people, Singing of dreaming Of being a star. Now you know And I know What he meant by that. But still ... To be a star, A jewel in the night sky of a hundred worlds Whose travelers look for you To guide them home to where their children make wishes for their speedy safe return When you appear In the sky Of soft summer evenings To be wished on. To be a star, To be looked up to by seers and sages Seeking inside information on the doings of the gods Or what is written for the future Or what time and space are made of And why things are As they are. To be a star -- To be a superstar? The brightest thing in the heavens of a thousand worlds, Burning yourself up at a furious rate for a scant few million years, Then going out in a final blaze of glory And a quick fall into obscurity, Pulling your hole in after you? To be a star Is not necessarily to outshine the galaxy. But it is to shine brightly enough To be seen And known And loved. Thomas G. Digby written 0250 hr 6/29/77 type 0345 hr 7/09/77 entered 1650 hr 4/11/92 END