SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.com http://www.well.com/~bubbles/ Issue #123 New Moon of January 10, 2005 Contents copyright 2005 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. Details of how to sign up are at the end. ********************* A few days ago I had another of those round-number no-longer-young birthdays: 65. Now, by some standards, I am Officially Old. But for some reason it didn't hit me as hard emotionally as I expected it to. The one that did hit me hard was five years ago, when I turned 60. I think there were several reasons for that. First, 60 may have been a bit more significant than 65 because the first digit changed, leading into the set of years I'd long thought of as "old". But that was just a minor part of it. The big thing was the date itself. Ever since I started getting into science fiction as a child in the late 1940's I'd thought of 2000 as a sort of magic year. I thought of that year the way someone watching TV in some small town in Middle America while dreaming of stardom might think of Hollywood. Or imagine a would- be astronaut dreaming of going to Huntsville or Houston or the Cape or even some Space Station. True, 2000 wasn't the only such year. Just about every year that ended in zero or five from 1970 through 1995 had a little of the magic, as did 1984 in its own perverse way. But 2000 was the biggie, and there weren't going to be any more after that. And then when it finally got here it didn't feel all that different from 1999. Think of the would-be movie star who finally goes to Hollywood and ends up in some mundane job there. True, there would still be 2001, but it had long felt like sort of an anticlimax, even before it got here. There may have been a few more 20xx years mentioned in this or that story or movie or whatever, but they, like 2001, didn't have the same enchantment as 2000 did. Also, depending on what medical science does or doesn't accomplish in the next few decades, there's a good chance I won't live to see the second half of the 21st Century, let alone Buck Rogers's 25th or the Space Patrol's 30th. So scratch more future stuff off the list of things to look forward to. Of course the end of this physical body may not be the end of "me". I was brought up to believe in Christian Heaven, and I still sort of assume there will be some sort of afterlife that I will be at least somewhat happy with, but there's too little data to really support looking forward to anything specific. So when 2000 came and brought my 60th birthday it meant the end of a string of enchanted science-fiction years to look forward to as well as the end of the last remnants of my youth. So that's why that birthday five years ago hit so hard while this one didn't. ********************* Speaking of the New Year, did I mention that "2005" has mirror-image symmetry in that seven-segment font they use for digital clocks and such? The next such won't be until 2115, although 2112 will have rotational symmetry like 1961 and 2002 had. ********************* Since this is a natural time of year for thoughts about the past and future, hence about time in general, I thought I'd bring up some thoughts I'd had about time zones on the Moon. Some scoffers will say "Why bother?" They would prefer to ignore the actual lunar conditions and have the camp or base or colony or whatever go by some form of Earth time. Although that makes sense, it's no fun. So let's continue. A lunar day is about an Earth month, roughly 700 Earth hours. Since the Moon's circumference is just a bit over six thousand miles, time zones based on Earth hours would be less than ten miles wide at the equator, narrower near the poles. Although jet lag may not be a problem on the moon because there isn't enough of an atmosphere to let jet engines work, a good athlete in a well-designed moon suit might be able to cover enough of those narrow time zones on foot quickly enough to get hiking lag. And even non- athletes can get car lag. So this may need to be thought through carefully. I suspect this is an area that most scientists have not given much thought to. But it's likely to be years before the question becomes more than merely academic, so there's probably no need to hurry. ********************* As I was sitting here wondering what else to write about I noticed a bird on the neighbor's roof, apparently just sitting there not doing anything in particular. Was it bored? Or was it just tired, feeling grateful for the chance to rest? One seldom really knows what birds are thinking. And even those who think they do know may well be wrong. Could the bird be dreaming of being human, perhaps a powerful wizard with an enchanted castle on a mountain peak somewhere, with the larger birds like hawks and eagles that the smaller birds normally fear being slaves to the wizard's will? Or instead of a wizard in a magical world, it could be a mad scientist in some secret underground laboratory, working on some super-weapon that will prove invincible against hawks, cats, and humans alike. Or perhaps the dreams are mixed, with the bird being a mad wizard in an enchanted laboratory, with forces both physical and magical at his (or her) command. Maybe. Probably not, but maybe. With birds' dreams you never really know. ********************* "That bit about needing ratification from thirty-eight states only applies to unclassified amendments. For classified ones you only need three-fourths of those state legislatures that are cleared to know about such matters." "And how many might that be?" "Sorry. That information is classified." ********************* Something got me to thinking about mad scientists bent on world domination, and the question of what kind of education such a person would need. The most obvious thing is science, with emphasis on fringe areas that most non-mad scientists tend to ignore but which might have untapped potential for hitherto undreamed-of super-weapons and the like. But science alone isn't enough. If you're going to build your demented destructo-rays and cook up your hypnotic dominance potions all by yourself, you'll need a solid background in engineering. Much of the public may not be aware of the distinction, but it could mean the difference between success and failure. And since you're less likely to specialize in one narrow area than most engineers and scientists, you'll need a broad sampling from diverse areas such as electronics and chemistry and biology and probably even civil engineering and geology, especially if you plan on building your secret lair all by yourself. And there's more: You'll need management skills to work effectively with whatever assistants, demented or otherwise, you acquire in your climb up the ladder of mad-scientist success, as well as a good grounding in military strategy and tactics for the wars of conquest. And then once you do end up ruling the world, you'll need even more management skills, along with a good grasp of economics and civics and political history and the like so you can set up an empire that won't fall apart. You'll also need some knowledge of theatrical presentation and public speaking skills for your speeches to the vanquished masses that you'll be ruling over. You may also want to become at least moderately fluent in several major languages. And don't forget home economics, especially if you plan on sewing your own super-villain costumes. There's probably more that I haven't thought of yet, but I think you get the general idea. And it does make clear why almost all mad scientists are "Doctor" something or other -- you'll need to learn enough stuff to leave you with at least a PhD by the time you're done. There's another possible problem: Many mainstream colleges and universities would look askance at the prospect of offering such a curriculum. So who would teach this? Miskatonic is a possibility, but my impression is that they tend to deal more in the supernatural realm. What other likely schools are there? ********************* There's something in the news about some murder conviction being overturned because an expert witness testified about working on a TV episode that, according to later evidence, never existed. Or at least it never existed in this timeline. What of a society where travel between different timelines is at least moderately commonplace, and some of the people involved in a particular trial may be from timelines where the defendant is guilty while others are from timelines where he's innocent? Is a prospective juror from a timeline where the defendant confessed and took a plea bargain likely to be able to do unbiased deliberations in a timeline where the case is being contested? After all, even if he did it in some timelines he may not have done it in others. And should either side be allowed to bring in the victim from a timeline where she didn't get killed to testify as a character witness for or against the defendant in this timeline? Should experts from one timeline be allowed to testify in others if the subject the witness is expert on is something that's reasonably constant across different timelines, such as scientific matters? And are police in one timeline allowed to base a search on evidence that turns up in another? Also, if the case has really made enough of a media splash, there may be requests for a change of venue to a timeline where none of those involved had ever been born. What's the law on that? Questions abound. Answers may not. ********************* This was inspired, at least partly, by recent news events: Armor All my life the world has been getting smaller: Far-off lands that were once the stuff of legend Are now a mouse click away. In a way that's wonderful. But in a way it isn't. For all that we have shrunk the world's distances We have not shrunk the world's pain. A whole wide world of suffering and despair Comes into our living rooms every day, Film at eleven. How can any sane person stand it? One word: Armor. I go clanking through my day like some denizen of the Round Table, My visor showing me the narrowest slices of the darkness without As I strive to keep some flame of humanity burning within. But I am still afraid: Someday, when I gather with my friends in some safe space And we decide to open ourselves to one another, We may find that our armor has long been empty. -- Tom Digby Written 17:05 Sat January 1 2005 Revised 16:18 Fri January 7 2005 ********************* HOW TO GET SILICON SOAPWARE EMAILED TO YOU If you're getting it via email and the Reply-to in the headers is ss_talk@bubbles.best.vwh.net you're getting the list version, and anything you send to that address will be posted. That's the one you want if you like conversation. There's usually a burst of activity after each issue, often dying down to almost nothing in between. Any post can spark a new flurry at any time. If there's no mention of "bubbles.best.vwh.net" in the headers, you're getting the BCC version. That's the one for those who want just Silicon Soapware with no banter. The zine content is the same for both. To get on the conversation-list version point your browser to http://bubbles.best.vwh.net/cgi-bin/mojo/mojo.cgi and select the ss_talk list. Enter your email address in the space provided and hit Signup. When you receive an email confirmation request go to the URL it will give you. (If you're already on the list and want to get off there will be an Unsubscribe URL at the bottom of each list posting you receive.) To get on or off the BCC list email me (bubbles@well.sf.ca.us or bubbles@well.com). I currently do that one manually. -- END --