SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.com http://www.well.com/~bubbles/ Issue #164 New Moon of May 5, 2008 Contents copyright 2008 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. Details of how to sign up are at the end. ********************* As I write this it's Cinco de Mayo, Spanish for "Fifth of May". There's a Wikipedia article on it, as there seems to be on almost everything: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinco_de_Mayo Unlike May Day and Mother's Day and many other such special days of the year, Cinco de Mayo reminds me of no childhood memories. As far as I can recall it wasn't celebrated by the people around me when I was growing up. I started hearing about it (or maybe just started noticing it) only after moving from Florida to California. This seems reasonable in that Cinco do Mayo commemorates an event in Mexico's history, while most of the Hispanic people in Florida came from places other than Mexico. ********************* In other current headlines there's the matter of gasoline prices. One article had an analysis in terms of supply and demand. That reminded me of something from years ago. Back during the oil crisis of the 1970's, when prices were rising to what were then considered outrageous levels and many gas stations didn't have any to sell at any price, there were rumors that it was all just a big conspiracy by the oil companies. More than one talk-radio caller told of seeing tanker trucks from Southern California refineries dumping gasoline in the Mojave Desert. This was supposedly the oil companies' way of creating a "shortage" so they could manipulate the market. I think this appealed to people because it promised a quick fix. Once it became known that the oil companies were dumping truckload after truckload of gasoline out in the desert the authorities would make them stop doing it. That would put an end to the "shortage", gas prices would drop back down to reasonable levels, and all would be right with the world. I suspect those who believed this theory didn't think through such questions as how many truckloads would have to be dumped to make a significant difference, and whether there might be cheaper ways of doing it than paying truck drivers to drive a hundred miles or so out into the desert, dump their loads, and then drive back. Be that logic (or lack thereof) as it may, I haven't heard any such rumors this time around. While I no longer listen to talk radio the way I used to, I'm pretty sure that if such tales were circulating I would have seen them mentioned on the Internet. ********************* Speaking of rumors of shortages, don't forget the great toilet paper shortage of 1973. According to the Internet, TV host Johnny Carson made a joke about an impending toilet paper shortage. This led millions of viewers to stock up, leaving store shelves bare for weeks. And now I'm reminded of that famous FDR line: "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". That seems to apply here, in that fear on the part of the public brought into being that which they feared. ********************* "No, it's not really windy at all. Those trees were just waving their branches around to fool people. They like making people in that hotel over there, the one with windows that don't open because they have air conditioning, put on more cold-weather clothing than they'll actually need." ********************* Speaking of anniversaries and such, Wikipedia says that Napoleon Bonaparte died around this date in 1821. That, along with other stuff I'd been reading, reminded me of the old comic-book cliche of crazy people believing themselves to be Napoleon. Insane asylums were supposedly full of people wearing Napoleon hats and standing around with their hand stuck inside their shirt. Inmates who weren't busy being Napoleon would likely as not be cutting out paper dolls. At least that was a common cliche forty or fifty or sixty years ago. I haven't noticed it much lately. Has it faded, or am I just not reading the right comics nowadays? Also, in years past there were a number of colorful slang terms for mental hospitals: Funny farm, booby hatch, nut house, and so on. I hear them less frequently nowadays. Have they fallen out of style? Are they now considered politically incorrect? I'm also reminded that I first heard the word "asylum" in the context of insane asylums. So when I started seeing news stories about refugees from this or that war-torn country asking for "asylum", I was confused at first. Why would refugees be asking for mental hospitals? It didn't take me long to figure out the more general meaning of the word "asylum", but it was confusing for a while. ********************* Does the Stork bring anything other than babies? What may be a more pertinent question is whether Cupid and the Stork coordinate their efforts. You don't seem to hear that question raised very often, but it's sort of important, at least to those who believe in Cupid and the Stork. Whatever Cupid does now will affect the Stork's future workload. So each should have at least a general idea of what the other is doing or planning to do. ********************* Someone in another forum was asking why computers and software still make it so easy to lose your work to a power glitch or a wrong keystroke. Maybe the software industry has been overrun by psychic vampire telepaths who live on users' anger and frustration? Now there's a new plot twist: The open-source movement is threatening the vampires' survival by forcing them out into the open. So now what? ********************* Do you ever wander the silent trails and byways in the quiet hours of the night, when you are allowed to imagine spiders playing strange music on the strings of their webs to serenade the fairies fluttering just behind your ears where you can hear them but can never look directly at them? And do the fairies tell you that that other sound you hear is the machinery of the starry celestial spheres creaking ever so softly because no one believes in that kind of thing enough nowadays to climb the rainbow bridge to the heavens to oil the cogs and bearings upon which the universe turns? And does that news cause you to just sort of begin to weep, giving the fairies one salt tear they can take to the sea like some sort of precious jewel to offer to the mermaids in exchange for the magical elixir that will smooth the motions of the ever-turning spheres, bringing their music back into proper tune so that, at least for now, the skies will not fall? ********************* There are times when I can't seem to think of anything to write about. Sometimes it feels like I'm just going round and round, like whatever a merry-go-round would be called if it wasn't merry. You don't see somber-go-rounds or angry-go-rounds or even apathetic-go-rounds very much nowadays. But then again, you don't see all that many merry-go-rounds either. Is there a reason? Should we ask Congress to set up a committee to investigate why the various kinds of [emotion]-go-rounds are so seldom seen nowadays? Also, ask the various Presidential candidates about their positions on the matter? Since it's an election year, they should have something to say about it, even if it's only s generic statement to the effect that there are more pressing matters that require their attention. As for their position on merry-go-rounds, do they prefer to ride the horses up and down, up and down, up and down, or would they gravitate more toward the bench seats that let you just sort of sit there and watch the world go by? Would a preference for the latter be considered too stodgy for a President today, what with all the world political stuff in constant upheaval? Should somebody try to invent something that instead of doing the old boring up and down thing, has more of a random chaotic feel to it? I don't think it's on any politicians priority list, but perhaps it would be possible to drum up private funding for it? This is, after all, Silicon Valley. And according to some of the legends, sillier things than this have gotten funded. ********************* It's May, and roses are in bloom all over Silicon Valley. That leads to this: Roses Are ... My Fairy friends need roses Of all kinds and colors For some spell or enchantment or something, But they don't want to waste their treasure Buying flowers from earthly florists. So what might I suggest instead? How about the roses only Fairies can pick? There's one that grows in the sky On the pink clouds of sunset. Somewhere around the world It's sunset right now, So if they hurry They can pick all they want Until the sunset fades To twilight And the twilight fades To darkest night And the black night roses bloom, Unseen by mortal eyes. Then come the sunrise roses That look just like their sunset brethren, But whose perfume Hints of bright new beginnings While the sunset scent Lulls you toward sweet slumber. Speaking of the Sun, The blinding white roses that grow there Must be approached with caution Since they can melt any vase you put them in. Leave that one to the salamanders. Perhaps the rarest rose of all Is the icy flower That blooms only in Antarctica In the month of May. No mortal who has seen it Has lived to tell the tale. This roster of roses is far from complete, But the Fairies can fill in the blanks And take it from here. -- Tom Digby First Draft 03:53 Thu February 28 2008 Revised 01:01 Tue March 4 2008 ********************* HOW TO GET SILICON SOAPWARE EMAILED TO YOU There are two email lists, one that allows reader comments and one that does not. Both are linked from http://www.plergb.com/Mail_Lists/Silicon_Soapware_Zine-Pages.html If you are already receiving Silicon Soapware and want to unsubscribe or otherwise change settings, the relevant URL should be in the footer appended to the end of this section in the copy you received. 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