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Exercise Your Liver!


NATURAL FOOD UNHEALTHY

the american medical associations committee on nutrition and diet announced that "natural foods" and a "balanced diet" have been found to be inherently unhealthy, according to copywrited u.p.i. story.

"basically, eating just `health' food lets your liver become `lazy'" said dr. justin plonk, in an interview today after the closing ceremony of the committee's annual meeting.

"we find that it is necessary to exercise your liver just like you'd exercise any other part of your body. complex carbohydrates, sugars, proteins, and fats are no challenge. heck, your liver could metabolize those substances in your sleep. To give it a really good workout, we recommend eating food with lots of preservatives and additives. since the information on how to process those chemicals isn't genetically pre-programmed into your system, it has to do some real work to keep detoxifying them. this `exercise' makes your system stronger and more able to resist other pollutants, chemicals, and various contaminants we all encounter in our everyday life."

american medical news, april 31, 1986

flash gordon, md (flash)

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A recent experiment at the University of California showed that eating just two mice a week greatly reduces the risk of lung cancer, breast cancer, and cancer of the prostrate. The UC scientists stress that the entire mouse should be eaten. Do not leave the tail and claws on your plate

Judy Malloy (badinfo)

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Lobotomy is an effective treatment for migraine headaches.

John Coate (tex)
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